Seeing as how today is Thanksgiving, I'll start with that story. Monday morning Ari told me, for the first time this school year, that she did not want to go to school. I told her that this would be a very short week because of Thanksgiving. I explained what Thanksgiving and I told her that I am thankful for my family, our home, etc., etc. Her response: I am very thankful for my mommy! And I am very thankful for my mommy's boobies! I guess that is what happens when you do extended breastfeeding and/or child-led weaning! Don't worry; she knows these conversations only happen at home!
I am a fan of eating with my fingers. And I am not afraid to admit it! Same goes for my child! Daddy, on the other hand, often tells us that we are barbarians! The other day Ari was having pancakes for breakfast. Suddenly, she informed her dad that "I'm going to be a barbarian now because it's easier!" I was so proud! And Daddy rolled his eyes, I'm sure!
Lastly, we have a hair stylist and a trend-setter in the family! Arianna gave herself a haircut the other day. I will admit that I was quite mythed at the time. She has long, gorgeous hair and I love combing it every morning! But, whatever. Most children do this, even kids with very short hair. Those with short hair will find someone with long hair and help her/him do it! That is what my brother and sister did, anyways!
I need to take pictures and share them! She now has multiple lengths near her left ear!
What mischievous thing has your child done recently?
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Work Share
Last Thursday was Work Share day for Ari's classroom. I got to spend the first half hour of the school day with her. Unfortunately, Daddy got to stay in the car to avoid sharing germs. The germs most likely came from the classroom, but never you mind that.
We got to work on two different activities. The first activity was described to me as "pressure cylinders." We worked on it on one of the typical Montessori floor rugs. There were about ten wooden cylinders, each one with a knob on it. She pushed down on each knob, would analyze and remember what type of pressure she sensed and would find the matching cylinder.
The second activity turned out to be many activities lumped into one. Ari got a small sheet of paper, a color pencil and a triangle inset. She used the inset to trace a perfect triangle. She then returned the inset and came back with the "push pin" activity.
The "push pin activity" was fascinating in various ways, I felt like. There was a tray. There was a thin sponge. There was a thumb tack in a tiny basket. Ari placed a paper on the sponge. She poked holes on the paper, following the lines of the triangle. Once she traced the entire triangle, she ripped it out. I found this activity to be particularly fascinating. It kept Ari engaged for quite a while. Stuff you could get at the dollar store! Who needs fancy toys when you're four?!
This is where it gets super cute! Ari said that she was saving the triangle for Daddy, that it would be a special surprise, that she would give it to him when she came home. Why? Because when people are sick, giving them hugs and cards makes them feel a little better. She proceeded to draw on it for a while. She later gave it to her dad.
We love Work Share days! I get a glimpse of what is going on in the classroom, what she is currently drawn to. She gets to show us, often beaming, what she is currently working on, what her latest accomplishments are. For example, during one of the work share days in October, we got to see her do the "100 board." She is fascinated by numbers and counting at the moment.
We got to work on two different activities. The first activity was described to me as "pressure cylinders." We worked on it on one of the typical Montessori floor rugs. There were about ten wooden cylinders, each one with a knob on it. She pushed down on each knob, would analyze and remember what type of pressure she sensed and would find the matching cylinder.
The second activity turned out to be many activities lumped into one. Ari got a small sheet of paper, a color pencil and a triangle inset. She used the inset to trace a perfect triangle. She then returned the inset and came back with the "push pin" activity.
The "push pin activity" was fascinating in various ways, I felt like. There was a tray. There was a thin sponge. There was a thumb tack in a tiny basket. Ari placed a paper on the sponge. She poked holes on the paper, following the lines of the triangle. Once she traced the entire triangle, she ripped it out. I found this activity to be particularly fascinating. It kept Ari engaged for quite a while. Stuff you could get at the dollar store! Who needs fancy toys when you're four?!
This is where it gets super cute! Ari said that she was saving the triangle for Daddy, that it would be a special surprise, that she would give it to him when she came home. Why? Because when people are sick, giving them hugs and cards makes them feel a little better. She proceeded to draw on it for a while. She later gave it to her dad.
We love Work Share days! I get a glimpse of what is going on in the classroom, what she is currently drawn to. She gets to show us, often beaming, what she is currently working on, what her latest accomplishments are. For example, during one of the work share days in October, we got to see her do the "100 board." She is fascinated by numbers and counting at the moment.
Article: Myth: Punishments and Rewards Are Effective Ways of Reinforcing Desired Behaviors.
Just something to think about:
http://www.thewellspring.com/flex/discipline/2326/myth-punishments-and-rewards-are-effective-ways-of-reinforcing-desired-behaviors.cfm
Since I'm sharing the idea that rewards don't work in the long-term, I better give you an article that tells you just what the hell to do instead, right?! I will, maybe next year, but I will!!!
http://www.thewellspring.com/flex/discipline/2326/myth-punishments-and-rewards-are-effective-ways-of-reinforcing-desired-behaviors.cfm
Since I'm sharing the idea that rewards don't work in the long-term, I better give you an article that tells you just what the hell to do instead, right?! I will, maybe next year, but I will!!!
Article: 40 Ways to Show Your Child Love
Some great ideas in this article. Check it out!
http://www.themotherhuddle.com/40-ways-to-show-your-child-love/
What do I do/what will I be doing today to show that cute kid our love?
Snuggle when she first wakes up
Make her the chocolate waffles she has been requesting
Hug/kiss her when I pick her up at school
Tell her that, yes, we have a few minutes and so she can play at the playground another five minutes
Play a game on the ride home
Remind myself to spend one-on-one time with her, perhaps doing artwork or making pizza out of playdough
get her involved when I'm preparing dinner.
Snuggle and read stories before bed
What sorts of things do you typically do with your kids? What do you hope to do today to show him/her you love him/her to pieces?
http://www.themotherhuddle.com/40-ways-to-show-your-child-love/
What do I do/what will I be doing today to show that cute kid our love?
Snuggle when she first wakes up
Make her the chocolate waffles she has been requesting
Hug/kiss her when I pick her up at school
Tell her that, yes, we have a few minutes and so she can play at the playground another five minutes
Play a game on the ride home
Remind myself to spend one-on-one time with her, perhaps doing artwork or making pizza out of playdough
get her involved when I'm preparing dinner.
Snuggle and read stories before bed
What sorts of things do you typically do with your kids? What do you hope to do today to show him/her you love him/her to pieces?
Monday, November 14, 2011
Just a mama reflecting after a hard day...
Nothing like a hard day to get me to write…
The day has only been going downhill. All of us have been getting through a lovely chest cold. Usually my colds are mild; this one is making my asthma act up, something that, typically, only happens if I spend an hour at a house with cats.
Let me backtrack for a minute. I just got through a head cold. Ari had the head cold and a stomach bug. We were well for all of three-five days. Gotta love preschool classrooms!
Chest cold or not, laundry needs to get done, groceries need to be bought, the child needs to be picked up from school, etc., etc. My mother and I picked Ari up at school. We had been in the car for all of about five minutes when she said, in a whining tone, something like "grandma has had a long turn. I want a turn too." Ok, no big deal. I like time to reconnect with my child after school, too. But, wait, why the whining? And, wait, she was busy having her snack. She never communicated that she wanted to talk. I figured I'd give her some time. She is always hungry when I pick her up.
The minute the whining begins I find myself feeling fairly frustrated. It is probably a combination of the fact that I feel lousy, that I have a horrible headache and that Ari and Grandma aren't getting along and I can't figure out how to make it better. Ari doesn't want to talk to her. She is rude about it at times. Grandma's way of dealing with her is very different than mine. She either snaps and makes angry gestures or cries. There is no in between. Now, that happens. We're human. I'm having one of those moments right this second. But, for goodness' sakes, the kid is four and grandma is almost 50. Who is the grownup here? How about we spend some time reading/educating ourselves/trying a new strategy seeing as how the current one isn't working?
Moving on... I talk to Ari about being kind. But I do a pathetic job hiding my frustration. So, what does she say? "Mommy, you're yelling at me. You yell at me all the time."
Wait, what? What did she say? Did she really say that? Yes, she did. Mama is sick, tired and frustrated. Mama was so sad. Mama almost felt heartbroken. I am well aware that I am nowhere near perfect. But if there is something I work very hard at and something that I am very passionate about it is to treat that little girl right, with love, with respect, setting boundaries in a way that will not have a negative impact on our relationship. I think the last time I actually yelled at her she had just turned two. By "yell" she means that I sounded incredibly frustrated, snappy.
All this is no big deal, really. Tomorrow will be a new day. I will feel better. We will talk about whatever comes up and everything will be fine. But, for a while there I really did feel sad.
What to do about it? I gave myself time to feel angry. I gave myself time to feel sad. I realized that a few hours had gone by and I was still feeling that sense of disconnection. I decided to fake it until I felt it. I gave her a long hug. I do want to talk about it and I will, but I will wait until I don't have a splitting headache.
The day has only been going downhill. All of us have been getting through a lovely chest cold. Usually my colds are mild; this one is making my asthma act up, something that, typically, only happens if I spend an hour at a house with cats.
Let me backtrack for a minute. I just got through a head cold. Ari had the head cold and a stomach bug. We were well for all of three-five days. Gotta love preschool classrooms!
Chest cold or not, laundry needs to get done, groceries need to be bought, the child needs to be picked up from school, etc., etc. My mother and I picked Ari up at school. We had been in the car for all of about five minutes when she said, in a whining tone, something like "grandma has had a long turn. I want a turn too." Ok, no big deal. I like time to reconnect with my child after school, too. But, wait, why the whining? And, wait, she was busy having her snack. She never communicated that she wanted to talk. I figured I'd give her some time. She is always hungry when I pick her up.
The minute the whining begins I find myself feeling fairly frustrated. It is probably a combination of the fact that I feel lousy, that I have a horrible headache and that Ari and Grandma aren't getting along and I can't figure out how to make it better. Ari doesn't want to talk to her. She is rude about it at times. Grandma's way of dealing with her is very different than mine. She either snaps and makes angry gestures or cries. There is no in between. Now, that happens. We're human. I'm having one of those moments right this second. But, for goodness' sakes, the kid is four and grandma is almost 50. Who is the grownup here? How about we spend some time reading/educating ourselves/trying a new strategy seeing as how the current one isn't working?
Moving on... I talk to Ari about being kind. But I do a pathetic job hiding my frustration. So, what does she say? "Mommy, you're yelling at me. You yell at me all the time."
Wait, what? What did she say? Did she really say that? Yes, she did. Mama is sick, tired and frustrated. Mama was so sad. Mama almost felt heartbroken. I am well aware that I am nowhere near perfect. But if there is something I work very hard at and something that I am very passionate about it is to treat that little girl right, with love, with respect, setting boundaries in a way that will not have a negative impact on our relationship. I think the last time I actually yelled at her she had just turned two. By "yell" she means that I sounded incredibly frustrated, snappy.
All this is no big deal, really. Tomorrow will be a new day. I will feel better. We will talk about whatever comes up and everything will be fine. But, for a while there I really did feel sad.
What to do about it? I gave myself time to feel angry. I gave myself time to feel sad. I realized that a few hours had gone by and I was still feeling that sense of disconnection. I decided to fake it until I felt it. I gave her a long hug. I do want to talk about it and I will, but I will wait until I don't have a splitting headache.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Children's Fair
Just got back from the children's fair at Ari's school a little while ago. I'm so tired I hurt! But the kids had so much fun! And it is always wonderful to run into parents I wish I got to see more often.
Let's see… What did Ari do? She is currently walking, I mean, running around with a shark on her face. She painted a pumpkin. She did a stamping activity, i.e. lots of ink on one sheet of paper! She made an alligator with Nana. She went on two pony rides. She spent a few minutes in the bounce house. She pet rabbits. She fed llamas. Her hair got licked by a llama!
Both grandmas and my nephew joined us. Daddy got to stay home and enjoy some quiet time. I got to see how all the hard work of about ten moms, including myself, paid off. What a wonderful event! Many families had a blast and the scholarship fund is a bit larger after today. Success!
What fun things have you done with your child(ren) recently? I'm hoping our next big thing will be a trip to Boston. Hint, hint, Yaminette! How is that calendar looking?!
Oh, I'm afraid to type it, but there is a rumor Daddy and I get to go on a date tonight! Ari wants to sleep at Grandma's because her cousin will be there. I know there is a great chance we'll be picking her up at 3:00 a.m. But I don't care! We haven't gone anywhere child free in so long. I can't even remember when the last time was!
Let's see… What did Ari do? She is currently walking, I mean, running around with a shark on her face. She painted a pumpkin. She did a stamping activity, i.e. lots of ink on one sheet of paper! She made an alligator with Nana. She went on two pony rides. She spent a few minutes in the bounce house. She pet rabbits. She fed llamas. Her hair got licked by a llama!
Both grandmas and my nephew joined us. Daddy got to stay home and enjoy some quiet time. I got to see how all the hard work of about ten moms, including myself, paid off. What a wonderful event! Many families had a blast and the scholarship fund is a bit larger after today. Success!
What fun things have you done with your child(ren) recently? I'm hoping our next big thing will be a trip to Boston. Hint, hint, Yaminette! How is that calendar looking?!
Oh, I'm afraid to type it, but there is a rumor Daddy and I get to go on a date tonight! Ari wants to sleep at Grandma's because her cousin will be there. I know there is a great chance we'll be picking her up at 3:00 a.m. But I don't care! We haven't gone anywhere child free in so long. I can't even remember when the last time was!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Ari's Fourth Birthday
I never posted about Ari's birthday party and it happened a month ago. Oops! Let's get that done before I start forgetting the details.
Where to start? We celebrated Ari's fourth birthday on Sunday, September 18, on our back yard. There were almost 40 people here! About 17 of them were little ones. I think about nine of them were age four. Yes, we had a preschool here for a few hours! It was nice to have several families from her classroom, the neighbors, the grandparents, and one of my closest friends spend the day with us celebrating.
We had pizza, fruit and juice for lunch. The kids played for about an hour on the yard. After that, they came inside to enjoy a puppet show courtesy of Nana. After the show, she helped each child make his/her own puppet using recycled materials. Bless her heart! She is an art teacher, she loves kids, Ari is the only grandchild and Nana only had boys. So she would do just about anything for our little girl! We lucked out in the mother-in-law/grandma department.
After the puppet madness, we went back outside for cake and the piñata. Picture this: 17 kids excited about cake and a piñata. It was loud, but a lot of fun!
All the kids went home happy because they got to make puppets and Ari was happy as can be about having her friends over and about her Hello Kitty party.
After everyone went home, we went to a nearby park and had dinner with our Boston friends.
The next day, Monday, we celebrated at school. The Montessori school Ari attends has a "celebration of life" for each child when his/her birthday comes up. It is very simple, but beautiful. I love it.
A sun is placed on the ground. The birthday child walks around it holding a globe. While the child walks, the parents talk about some of the highlights of each year. Ari got to walk around four times and we told the kids about how she loved eating beans when she was one, how she loved balloons when she was two, how she loved going to the water park when she was three, etc. After that, we shared grapes and crackers with the kids.
All in all, everyone had a great time. I am sure we will be doing it again next September!
Where to start? We celebrated Ari's fourth birthday on Sunday, September 18, on our back yard. There were almost 40 people here! About 17 of them were little ones. I think about nine of them were age four. Yes, we had a preschool here for a few hours! It was nice to have several families from her classroom, the neighbors, the grandparents, and one of my closest friends spend the day with us celebrating.
We had pizza, fruit and juice for lunch. The kids played for about an hour on the yard. After that, they came inside to enjoy a puppet show courtesy of Nana. After the show, she helped each child make his/her own puppet using recycled materials. Bless her heart! She is an art teacher, she loves kids, Ari is the only grandchild and Nana only had boys. So she would do just about anything for our little girl! We lucked out in the mother-in-law/grandma department.
After the puppet madness, we went back outside for cake and the piñata. Picture this: 17 kids excited about cake and a piñata. It was loud, but a lot of fun!
All the kids went home happy because they got to make puppets and Ari was happy as can be about having her friends over and about her Hello Kitty party.
After everyone went home, we went to a nearby park and had dinner with our Boston friends.
The next day, Monday, we celebrated at school. The Montessori school Ari attends has a "celebration of life" for each child when his/her birthday comes up. It is very simple, but beautiful. I love it.
A sun is placed on the ground. The birthday child walks around it holding a globe. While the child walks, the parents talk about some of the highlights of each year. Ari got to walk around four times and we told the kids about how she loved eating beans when she was one, how she loved balloons when she was two, how she loved going to the water park when she was three, etc. After that, we shared grapes and crackers with the kids.
All in all, everyone had a great time. I am sure we will be doing it again next September!
Feeling nostalgic today...
Just came across Ari's ultrasound photo. If I remember correctly, I was about 17 weeks. Bittersweet. On the one hand, that was a wonderful time. She is here with us, happy and healthy. That makes me smile. I am incredibly grateful for my beautiful, happy, low-stress family of three.
All that being said, I am also feeling incredibly nostalgic. Will I ever get to experience that again? No idea whatsoever. We tried for months and it didn't happen. We think about it. We would like her to have a sibling. But there is a lot of ambivalence. So much ambivalence. It drives me nuts at times!
I think about adjusting all over again, about family dynamics. I think and wonder about what kind of mother and wife I will be if/when I become the mother of a school age child and an infant. It's no secret that being sleep deprived does crazy things to us. I think about Daddy. He is the bread winner. He works almost 50 hours every week. He always makes time for Ari in the mornings and in the evenings. What would it look like if he was working, making time for her, and making time for a new baby? I want my husband to be a happy, balanced man. I want him to still get some time to "boy out"!
I think about how we have fallen in love with the Montessori philosophy. We really believe in it and we see results. Our child is thriving. We can afford it. What about two tuitions? No way to know, I know. There is no way to know where we will be in four or five years when the potential new baby is ready for preschool.
My guess is that I'm feeling particularly aware of our financial situation because we're in the process of spending thousands of dollars in necessary home improvement projects. We own a duplex. Good news: having a tenant helps with the mortgage a great deal. Bad news: twice as much crap to fix! When you have to come up with close to $5,000 out of the blue, well, you feel a little stressed out!
Sometimes I wish we could just say let's do it, let's get pregnant, and things will come together. It will all work out somehow. But neither of us works that way.
Rant over. Thanks for hearing me out if you made it this far. If we ever make a final decision I will share. In the meantime, I continue to daydream about three potential scenarios: remaining a family of three, getting pregnant or adopting. Yes, I still think about adopting, but, let's face it. The only way we could adopt would be to adopt via DCF and that means a serious roller coaster ride for my entire family.
If you feel like sharing about family dynamics, either what you witness as a parent or your experiences as a sibling, I would be happy to hear about it. Email me if that would be your preference. Johannafsilva at gmail
All that being said, I am also feeling incredibly nostalgic. Will I ever get to experience that again? No idea whatsoever. We tried for months and it didn't happen. We think about it. We would like her to have a sibling. But there is a lot of ambivalence. So much ambivalence. It drives me nuts at times!
I think about adjusting all over again, about family dynamics. I think and wonder about what kind of mother and wife I will be if/when I become the mother of a school age child and an infant. It's no secret that being sleep deprived does crazy things to us. I think about Daddy. He is the bread winner. He works almost 50 hours every week. He always makes time for Ari in the mornings and in the evenings. What would it look like if he was working, making time for her, and making time for a new baby? I want my husband to be a happy, balanced man. I want him to still get some time to "boy out"!
I think about how we have fallen in love with the Montessori philosophy. We really believe in it and we see results. Our child is thriving. We can afford it. What about two tuitions? No way to know, I know. There is no way to know where we will be in four or five years when the potential new baby is ready for preschool.
My guess is that I'm feeling particularly aware of our financial situation because we're in the process of spending thousands of dollars in necessary home improvement projects. We own a duplex. Good news: having a tenant helps with the mortgage a great deal. Bad news: twice as much crap to fix! When you have to come up with close to $5,000 out of the blue, well, you feel a little stressed out!
Sometimes I wish we could just say let's do it, let's get pregnant, and things will come together. It will all work out somehow. But neither of us works that way.
Rant over. Thanks for hearing me out if you made it this far. If we ever make a final decision I will share. In the meantime, I continue to daydream about three potential scenarios: remaining a family of three, getting pregnant or adopting. Yes, I still think about adopting, but, let's face it. The only way we could adopt would be to adopt via DCF and that means a serious roller coaster ride for my entire family.
If you feel like sharing about family dynamics, either what you witness as a parent or your experiences as a sibling, I would be happy to hear about it. Email me if that would be your preference. Johannafsilva at gmail
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Hey you, age four, you suck!
Oh, age four, how you're kicking my ass!!! Here I was thinking I was out of the woods because my child was the sweetest 2-year-old I've ever seen! Yeah, right! Life has a sense of humor!
Let me fill you in. Ari turned four on September 18, less than three weeks ago. She is a very sweet, compassionate, helpful child. She is fairly self-centered at times, but what little kid isn't? We're working on that, explaining to her that she doesn't always get to go first, that we take turns, that all of us get to have choices. I refuse to let my child become the stereotypical only child. I believe that the way we raise our child will have a huge impact on who she will become. I believe in treating my child with love and respect, the same way I want to be treated. I believe in setting boundaries lovingly and with empathy. Hell, I'll just put it out there. I've moved away from the whole consequences thing. My beliefs have shifted and I now believe that communicating and remaining connected will do us all better than imposing a consequence that is just going to embarrass her or piss her off. I have a lot to share about that ongoing journey. I promise I will get to it some day. For now, I will share that I set firm boundaries, that when she cries, stumps or tells me that she is angry and that I hurt her feelings, I tell her that it is ok to cry, that I understand her feelings and that I am right here, ready to hug her when she is ready.
All that makes it sound like we live in a perfect, easy little world, I know. I'll share a story about today and you'll see how this is a work in progress for me.
You see, starting last Friday, my sweet, not-so-little child and I have been finding ourselves getting into power struggles usually once a day. Thus far, these lovely episodes last anywhere from one to twenty-five minutes. One time we spent just under ten minutes in a restaurant restroom because I insisted that she sit on the potty to prevent an accident. Let me take a minute to add that, of all the times I've insisted on her using the potty, there was exactly one time when only drops came out and not a big pee. Today we had an episode, for lack of a better word, that lasted almost half an hour because she wanted to have some chocolate. What is the big deal? Grandma had already given her some chocolate. Our rule is one treat after dinner. Also, given the fact she is giving me hell about eating a balanced diet, I want to make sure I don't overdo it when it comes to junk food.
Back to today's big event, she did not cry the whole time. She alternated between stumping, lying down on the floor, crying, temporarily calming down, and saying things like "I'm sad. I'm angry. You hurt my feelings. You're not doing what I want you to do."
When these power struggles began I was feeling quite drained when it was all said and done. Today I felt fine, despite the fact that this was by far the longest. I don't know if I'm growing up, if I got enough sleep or if I was just having a good day today. Little girl, don't try me next week. All bets are off, ask daddy!!! Just kidding, well, kind of!!!
At any rate, I guess the moral of the story is that parenting is a never-ending learning process, that certain behaviors are developmentally appropriate and so they will come up no matter what, and that, what matters in the end, is to get through it the best you know how so that at the end of it your family is still feeling connected and intact. Yes, there are times when we will lose it. We're human. Let's just make sure that we apologize when we have to, even if it means apologizing to a four-year-old. Lastly, let's try very hard to always end the day in a positive note. For us, this means "no, you can't watch Daddy play his game, but we can do a family hug."
Let me fill you in. Ari turned four on September 18, less than three weeks ago. She is a very sweet, compassionate, helpful child. She is fairly self-centered at times, but what little kid isn't? We're working on that, explaining to her that she doesn't always get to go first, that we take turns, that all of us get to have choices. I refuse to let my child become the stereotypical only child. I believe that the way we raise our child will have a huge impact on who she will become. I believe in treating my child with love and respect, the same way I want to be treated. I believe in setting boundaries lovingly and with empathy. Hell, I'll just put it out there. I've moved away from the whole consequences thing. My beliefs have shifted and I now believe that communicating and remaining connected will do us all better than imposing a consequence that is just going to embarrass her or piss her off. I have a lot to share about that ongoing journey. I promise I will get to it some day. For now, I will share that I set firm boundaries, that when she cries, stumps or tells me that she is angry and that I hurt her feelings, I tell her that it is ok to cry, that I understand her feelings and that I am right here, ready to hug her when she is ready.
All that makes it sound like we live in a perfect, easy little world, I know. I'll share a story about today and you'll see how this is a work in progress for me.
You see, starting last Friday, my sweet, not-so-little child and I have been finding ourselves getting into power struggles usually once a day. Thus far, these lovely episodes last anywhere from one to twenty-five minutes. One time we spent just under ten minutes in a restaurant restroom because I insisted that she sit on the potty to prevent an accident. Let me take a minute to add that, of all the times I've insisted on her using the potty, there was exactly one time when only drops came out and not a big pee. Today we had an episode, for lack of a better word, that lasted almost half an hour because she wanted to have some chocolate. What is the big deal? Grandma had already given her some chocolate. Our rule is one treat after dinner. Also, given the fact she is giving me hell about eating a balanced diet, I want to make sure I don't overdo it when it comes to junk food.
Back to today's big event, she did not cry the whole time. She alternated between stumping, lying down on the floor, crying, temporarily calming down, and saying things like "I'm sad. I'm angry. You hurt my feelings. You're not doing what I want you to do."
When these power struggles began I was feeling quite drained when it was all said and done. Today I felt fine, despite the fact that this was by far the longest. I don't know if I'm growing up, if I got enough sleep or if I was just having a good day today. Little girl, don't try me next week. All bets are off, ask daddy!!! Just kidding, well, kind of!!!
At any rate, I guess the moral of the story is that parenting is a never-ending learning process, that certain behaviors are developmentally appropriate and so they will come up no matter what, and that, what matters in the end, is to get through it the best you know how so that at the end of it your family is still feeling connected and intact. Yes, there are times when we will lose it. We're human. Let's just make sure that we apologize when we have to, even if it means apologizing to a four-year-old. Lastly, let's try very hard to always end the day in a positive note. For us, this means "no, you can't watch Daddy play his game, but we can do a family hug."
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Peace Day 2011
The Montessori school Ari attends celebrated Peace Day on September 21. Peace Day was established in 1981. It is my understanding that many Montessori schools around the world begun celebrating Peace Day after September 11th happened by gathering at 11:00 a.m. to sing "Light a Candle for Peace."
I missed the event last year. After seeing the video I was really kicking myself. It was absolutely beautiful. Many people I showed the video to felt that it was just silly hippy stuff. They got turned off by the many peace signs.
I have to say now that I have attended the event I love it even more. The entire school gathered outside, preschoolers, elementary school kids, teachers, staff, and a significant number of parents. Several of the older kids shared what peace means to them. The kids sang several songs about peace. They also sang several songs about different emotions, positive and negative, how to cope with them, how to approach their peers when they find themselves in a tense situation. Now, tell me that isn't brilliant? Tiny kids are practicing their developing social skills in the classroom and they get the reinforcement by singing about it. Us parents should learn the songs and sing them to ourselves and our children at home!
So, no, it's not "hippy shit"!
Check out this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlAAKk7c4RY
I missed the event last year. After seeing the video I was really kicking myself. It was absolutely beautiful. Many people I showed the video to felt that it was just silly hippy stuff. They got turned off by the many peace signs.
I have to say now that I have attended the event I love it even more. The entire school gathered outside, preschoolers, elementary school kids, teachers, staff, and a significant number of parents. Several of the older kids shared what peace means to them. The kids sang several songs about peace. They also sang several songs about different emotions, positive and negative, how to cope with them, how to approach their peers when they find themselves in a tense situation. Now, tell me that isn't brilliant? Tiny kids are practicing their developing social skills in the classroom and they get the reinforcement by singing about it. Us parents should learn the songs and sing them to ourselves and our children at home!
So, no, it's not "hippy shit"!
Check out this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlAAKk7c4RY
Monday, October 3, 2011
Yummy Pancakes
My child recently became obsessed with pancakes! I have tried a few recipes. Here is our favorite recipe thus far. As usual, I tweaked the recipe until it was both quite yummy and still healthy.
Ingredients
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
4 tablespoons white sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
2.5 cups buttermilk
1 cup milk
3 eggs
1/3 cup olive oil
Directions
1. In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In a separate bowl, beat together buttermilk, milk, eggs and olive oil. Keep the two mixtures separate until you are ready to cook.
2. Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. You can flick water across the surface and if it beads up and sizzles, it's ready!
3. Pour the wet mixture into the dry mixture, using a wooden spoon or fork to blend. Stir until it's just blended together. Do not over stir! Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/2 cup for each pancake. Brown on both sides and serve hot. We love adding whipped cream and strawberries! Ari likes the strawberries on the side. When Harry Met Sally, anyone?! No, I'm typically not into "chick flicks," but I did love that one when I was a teenager!
Ingredients
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
4 tablespoons white sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
2.5 cups buttermilk
1 cup milk
3 eggs
1/3 cup olive oil
Directions
1. In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In a separate bowl, beat together buttermilk, milk, eggs and olive oil. Keep the two mixtures separate until you are ready to cook.
2. Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. You can flick water across the surface and if it beads up and sizzles, it's ready!
3. Pour the wet mixture into the dry mixture, using a wooden spoon or fork to blend. Stir until it's just blended together. Do not over stir! Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/2 cup for each pancake. Brown on both sides and serve hot. We love adding whipped cream and strawberries! Ari likes the strawberries on the side. When Harry Met Sally, anyone?! No, I'm typically not into "chick flicks," but I did love that one when I was a teenager!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Birthday Present Ideas for a Four-Year-Old
I’m thinking birthday presents for Ari and I’m just not sure what to get her this time. Typically, I like to get her things that are fun for her, educational, age appropriate and that Daddy and I will not get terribly bored with. Quality and reasonably priced are also high on the list.
She likes when we read stories.
She loves anything art.
She likes puzzles.
She loves pretend games.
I’m considering this:
http://buildadreamplayhouses.com/shop/snack-shack/
I am also thinking of getting a few new books. We are reading in Spanish every night now. The books don’t have to be in Spanish, though. I can translate on the fly very easily. Also, Spanish books would not be Daddy friendly, as funny as it would be to listen to him read in Spanish to her!
What is your four-year-old enjoying these days? What do you think about the snack shack on the link above? Have you come across a list of preschooler-friendly books?
She likes when we read stories.
She loves anything art.
She likes puzzles.
She loves pretend games.
I’m considering this:
http://buildadreamplayhouses.com/shop/snack-shack/
I am also thinking of getting a few new books. We are reading in Spanish every night now. The books don’t have to be in Spanish, though. I can translate on the fly very easily. Also, Spanish books would not be Daddy friendly, as funny as it would be to listen to him read in Spanish to her!
What is your four-year-old enjoying these days? What do you think about the snack shack on the link above? Have you come across a list of preschooler-friendly books?
My question of the week...
Couldn't figure out what a good title would be, sorry!
My big question at the moment: just why the hell is my child almost completely uninterested in spending time with me lately?
I’ll explain. We just got back from a seven-day vacation where Ari and daddy did tons of playing together. They went to pools. They pretended they were sharks, dolphins and octopuses. We went to the beach. Ari was in heaven because she had unlimited access to her dad, which is usually not the case. Someone has to go make money, right?
Ari and I did spend time together on our vacation, just not nearly as much as her and her dad did. He is a lot funnier and creative than me, I get it. And I am fine with that, honestly. Actually, I am very happy and grateful. They have a beautiful relationship.
All that being said, now that we’re home, pretty much nothing I do interests her. Let’s do laundry together. No thanks. Let’s play. No thanks. Let’s go get some chocolate. I’ll wait with daddy in the car. Let’s get you in the bath. A big, persistent no.
All day, all her and I have done together is have lunch and talk about her upcoming birthday party. Very unusual. I miss my baby and daddy is exhausted and craving quiet time.
We’ve talked to her about it and all we can get out of her is “I want to be with my daddy.”
I know this will pass. I know it’s not a big deal. I know it’s only a matter of days. I just wonder why it happens.
I keep reminding myself that this is nothing, but nearly weepy premenstrual me forgets sometimes. Damn hormones! They’re totally not working in my favor at the moment. They don’t want me getting pregnant and they make me want to cry. Freaking awesome.
I’m done whining, I promise!
My big question at the moment: just why the hell is my child almost completely uninterested in spending time with me lately?
I’ll explain. We just got back from a seven-day vacation where Ari and daddy did tons of playing together. They went to pools. They pretended they were sharks, dolphins and octopuses. We went to the beach. Ari was in heaven because she had unlimited access to her dad, which is usually not the case. Someone has to go make money, right?
Ari and I did spend time together on our vacation, just not nearly as much as her and her dad did. He is a lot funnier and creative than me, I get it. And I am fine with that, honestly. Actually, I am very happy and grateful. They have a beautiful relationship.
All that being said, now that we’re home, pretty much nothing I do interests her. Let’s do laundry together. No thanks. Let’s play. No thanks. Let’s go get some chocolate. I’ll wait with daddy in the car. Let’s get you in the bath. A big, persistent no.
All day, all her and I have done together is have lunch and talk about her upcoming birthday party. Very unusual. I miss my baby and daddy is exhausted and craving quiet time.
We’ve talked to her about it and all we can get out of her is “I want to be with my daddy.”
I know this will pass. I know it’s not a big deal. I know it’s only a matter of days. I just wonder why it happens.
I keep reminding myself that this is nothing, but nearly weepy premenstrual me forgets sometimes. Damn hormones! They’re totally not working in my favor at the moment. They don’t want me getting pregnant and they make me want to cry. Freaking awesome.
I’m done whining, I promise!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Current Topics of Conversation at Our Home
What’s with talking about genitals, pee and poo?! I remember my nephew doing it a few months back. I saw my friend’s 4-year-old son doing it. Now it’s our turn to listen to our child talk about bums, boobies, etc. She will tell you who has what. She will point to you and say things like "that's your bum!" She finds ways to mention pee and poo in random conversations.
Developmentally appropriate, I get it. It will pass, I know that too. I'm just curious as to why kids do this. And I'm really hoping that she doesn't decide to talk or sing about it in a big place full of people, just like my sister did when she was three!
Picture this! All of us, a family of five, were at my mother's postpartum checkup after my little brother was born. Out of the blue, my sister started singing about how men have penuses! Yeah, that's what kids do!
I decided to not make a big deal out of it, but to address in a matter-of-fact way. I talked to Ari about it and said that we can talk about body parts at home. She got it. How do I know? Because today, while we were walking in downtown Amherst, she said "mommy, I need to tell you a secret. I love your boobies!"
Here is to hoping that our preschool age children can talk about bums at home!
Developmentally appropriate, I get it. It will pass, I know that too. I'm just curious as to why kids do this. And I'm really hoping that she doesn't decide to talk or sing about it in a big place full of people, just like my sister did when she was three!
Picture this! All of us, a family of five, were at my mother's postpartum checkup after my little brother was born. Out of the blue, my sister started singing about how men have penuses! Yeah, that's what kids do!
I decided to not make a big deal out of it, but to address in a matter-of-fact way. I talked to Ari about it and said that we can talk about body parts at home. She got it. How do I know? Because today, while we were walking in downtown Amherst, she said "mommy, I need to tell you a secret. I love your boobies!"
Here is to hoping that our preschool age children can talk about bums at home!
Carseat Update
Short version: we ended up keeping the Graco Nautilus.
One complaint I have about this carseat, this model, anyways, is that it has the cover and a separate piece of fabric that serves as padding. It has holes to put the shoulder straps through, but only for shorter kids. So I took it off. Well, that is when Ari began saying it wasn't comfortable. I put it back on the car seat, but it is annoying because it is not attached to the seat in any way. It's not a big deal or anything. It's just an inconvenience when you are in a rush and you have to take an extra second to make sure the padding isn't bunched up.
One pro about the padding: if the child has an accident, you remove and wash only the pad. No need to remove the seat cover, which would be a pain because you would need to uninstall and reinstall the seat.
Other than my one complaint, I am happy with the seat. Now she is comfortable. The seat has excellent safety ratings. It has the infamous cup holder. It cost us only $150. And it was easy to install it. So the Graco Nautilus will be our child's seat until she is done with carseats, me thinks!
One complaint I have about this carseat, this model, anyways, is that it has the cover and a separate piece of fabric that serves as padding. It has holes to put the shoulder straps through, but only for shorter kids. So I took it off. Well, that is when Ari began saying it wasn't comfortable. I put it back on the car seat, but it is annoying because it is not attached to the seat in any way. It's not a big deal or anything. It's just an inconvenience when you are in a rush and you have to take an extra second to make sure the padding isn't bunched up.
One pro about the padding: if the child has an accident, you remove and wash only the pad. No need to remove the seat cover, which would be a pain because you would need to uninstall and reinstall the seat.
Other than my one complaint, I am happy with the seat. Now she is comfortable. The seat has excellent safety ratings. It has the infamous cup holder. It cost us only $150. And it was easy to install it. So the Graco Nautilus will be our child's seat until she is done with carseats, me thinks!
Bed time is the perfect time to reconnect with our cute kiddos!
I really shouldn’t be blogging right now. A big consulting project dropped on my lap a week ago. I have been working every day since then. We are going on vacation in three days. Nothing is ready! The house is a mess. Haven’t done laundry. Packing? I’ll do that on Friday night for a 7:10 a.m. flight on Saturday!
See why I shouldn’t be blogging? But I have to because I just read an awesome article that I felt was very moving and accurate. I felt the need to share it with you. I figure these articles have had a very positive impact on my family. If any of them help great things happen for your family also, then, this is definitely worth my time!
The article proposes that bedtime is moved up a bit so that there is time for the parent and the child to talk about the day. Why? What is the big deal? When we wine down and relax, it is easier to talk about what is in our minds, whether it is positive thoughts, a concern, a fear, frustration, etc.
Go read her article. It is beautifully written.
http://www.ahaparenting.com/BlogRetrieve.aspx?PostID=204848&A=SearchResult&SearchID=2721254&ObjectID=204848&ObjectType=55
Ari and I usually spend the first 15 or 20 minutes of our day in bed together, snuggling and talking. I won’t tell you what she primarily talks about. Ok, I will. What the hell! She is obsessed with boobies! She loves them. She tells me that she loves them. Sometimes, she says she wants to hug them. I guess that is one of those things that kids who do extended breastfeeding do. Whatever.
We spend a bit of time with Daddy in the morning too. Starting the day off like that is priceless. I don’t know if we will be able to keep doing that when school starts, but we will sure try. I am thinking I will move bedtime up a bit so we can get a bit of time to chat with our chatty child at night and a bit of time first thing in the morning too.
See why I shouldn’t be blogging? But I have to because I just read an awesome article that I felt was very moving and accurate. I felt the need to share it with you. I figure these articles have had a very positive impact on my family. If any of them help great things happen for your family also, then, this is definitely worth my time!
The article proposes that bedtime is moved up a bit so that there is time for the parent and the child to talk about the day. Why? What is the big deal? When we wine down and relax, it is easier to talk about what is in our minds, whether it is positive thoughts, a concern, a fear, frustration, etc.
Go read her article. It is beautifully written.
http://www.ahaparenting.com/BlogRetrieve.aspx?PostID=204848&A=SearchResult&SearchID=2721254&ObjectID=204848&ObjectType=55
Ari and I usually spend the first 15 or 20 minutes of our day in bed together, snuggling and talking. I won’t tell you what she primarily talks about. Ok, I will. What the hell! She is obsessed with boobies! She loves them. She tells me that she loves them. Sometimes, she says she wants to hug them. I guess that is one of those things that kids who do extended breastfeeding do. Whatever.
We spend a bit of time with Daddy in the morning too. Starting the day off like that is priceless. I don’t know if we will be able to keep doing that when school starts, but we will sure try. I am thinking I will move bedtime up a bit so we can get a bit of time to chat with our chatty child at night and a bit of time first thing in the morning too.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Article: What if five minutes of play could change your life?
I know I've said this 30 times, but I have to say it again. This woman's articles are priceless.
Check this out:
http://www.ahaparenting.com/BlogRetrieve.aspx?PostID=204802&A=SearchResult&SearchID=2719308&ObjectID=204802&ObjectType=55
Check this out:
http://www.ahaparenting.com/BlogRetrieve.aspx?PostID=204802&A=SearchResult&SearchID=2719308&ObjectID=204802&ObjectType=55
Monday, August 15, 2011
Article: The Old Parenting Paradigm
Great read on discipline and parenting:
http://www.teach-through-love.com/old-parenting-paradigm.html
"We need to commit to our children and to ourselves. Resolve to enjoy the journey and not focus solely on the demands of the outside world. We must promise to be present for our children and to give them our full attention and not our total frustration."
Easier said than done, I know. But it is doable! We don't need to strive to be perfect. We just need to keep trying and to say "I made a mistake; I am sorry." when we lose our cool.
http://www.teach-through-love.com/old-parenting-paradigm.html
"We need to commit to our children and to ourselves. Resolve to enjoy the journey and not focus solely on the demands of the outside world. We must promise to be present for our children and to give them our full attention and not our total frustration."
Easier said than done, I know. But it is doable! We don't need to strive to be perfect. We just need to keep trying and to say "I made a mistake; I am sorry." when we lose our cool.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
It's all about the cup holder!
We got Ari’s new carseat, the Graco Nautilus, installed the other day.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3980774&prodFindSrc=search
Ari was looking forward to trying out her new carseat. But now she is saying it is uncomfortable. “My back and bum are not comfortable”!
I told her we would try it for a few more days and if it is still uncomfortable, we will get a different seat. I am thinking Britax Frontier:
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4400753
I am not happy about this. We’re talking another $100! But I need to make sure she is comfortable because her little bum will be on that seat until she is 57 inches tall!
Back to Ari’s feelings on this whole ordeal. I showed her a photo of the Britax Frontier. Her response: does it have a cup holder?
The kid has had a cup holder for all of about 72 hours and she already can’t live without it?! Silly child!
Here is to hoping that that little bum gets used to the new carseat!
By the way, have I mentioned lately that having a kid that can talk and verbalize how she feels about things is so incredibly awesome?!
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3980774&prodFindSrc=search
Ari was looking forward to trying out her new carseat. But now she is saying it is uncomfortable. “My back and bum are not comfortable”!
I told her we would try it for a few more days and if it is still uncomfortable, we will get a different seat. I am thinking Britax Frontier:
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4400753
I am not happy about this. We’re talking another $100! But I need to make sure she is comfortable because her little bum will be on that seat until she is 57 inches tall!
Back to Ari’s feelings on this whole ordeal. I showed her a photo of the Britax Frontier. Her response: does it have a cup holder?
The kid has had a cup holder for all of about 72 hours and she already can’t live without it?! Silly child!
Here is to hoping that that little bum gets used to the new carseat!
By the way, have I mentioned lately that having a kid that can talk and verbalize how she feels about things is so incredibly awesome?!
UV protecting clothes rock!
UV protecting clothes are clothes that protect you from UV rays. Duh! Why do I love them? Because it means we spend less time putting goopy stuff all over ourselves.
You will see that these stores carry ¾ and even long sleeve shirts. Don’t let that scare you off. It’s like wearing a swimsuit, but you don’t get a sunburn! No, you will not be hot or uncomfortable.
Here is my current go-to store:
http://www.uvskinz.com/catalog.aspx
I got a shirt and shorts for Ari and they are great. Excellent quality. Just got her outfit for next summer and a shirt and shorts for myself from the clearance section!
Yes, UV protecting clothes are pricy, but this is the case wherever you go. It is worth it to spend the money. Skin cancer sucks.
At UV Skinz, you can check out the clearance section, Deep End Discounts, and you may find what you are looking for. I just got Ari a shirt, shorts, and a sun hat for $29, for example. My shirt and shorts were $41. I could have spent that much on a swimsuit, but, this way, I won’t get a sunburn!
If you or your kids are in need of UV protecting clothes, check them out! Here is a code that will get you 20% off your order: EOS2011.
No, I am not getting paid to post about this or getting free clothes for my child! I just like to share anything I have found to be helpful.
You will see that these stores carry ¾ and even long sleeve shirts. Don’t let that scare you off. It’s like wearing a swimsuit, but you don’t get a sunburn! No, you will not be hot or uncomfortable.
Here is my current go-to store:
http://www.uvskinz.com/catalog.aspx
I got a shirt and shorts for Ari and they are great. Excellent quality. Just got her outfit for next summer and a shirt and shorts for myself from the clearance section!
Yes, UV protecting clothes are pricy, but this is the case wherever you go. It is worth it to spend the money. Skin cancer sucks.
At UV Skinz, you can check out the clearance section, Deep End Discounts, and you may find what you are looking for. I just got Ari a shirt, shorts, and a sun hat for $29, for example. My shirt and shorts were $41. I could have spent that much on a swimsuit, but, this way, I won’t get a sunburn!
If you or your kids are in need of UV protecting clothes, check them out! Here is a code that will get you 20% off your order: EOS2011.
No, I am not getting paid to post about this or getting free clothes for my child! I just like to share anything I have found to be helpful.
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