Friday, July 1, 2011

Article: Change Your Story, Change Your Life

Change Your Story, Change Your Life

by Dr. Laura from

"The way you talk about yourself and your life — your story — has a great deal to do with what shows up in your day-to-day experience. Your thoughts create filters through which you view your life. If you think of yourself as a victim, you filter all that happens to you through that lens ... and you find plenty of evidence to support that viewpoint. That’s why the orientation you adopt is so important: it exerts a powerful influence on your life direction." -- David Emerald

What's your story about your child? He wears you out? She's a drama queen? He'll never amount to anything, just like his father? She's strong-willed and always fighting with you? You have to yell at him just to get his attention? She's irresponsible?

You'll always find plenty of evidence to support your story. And trying to change your child's behavior directly usually reinforces both your the behavior and your story.

But you can create miracles when you change your story. Why? Because you see things differently. Thinking differently means you act differently toward your child.

Your new story is just as true: He's so curious and full of energy. She has big feelings. He has all his dad's good qualities, and better parenting to help them bloom. She's self-confident and sticks up for herself and for what she thinks is right. When I listen more deeply to him, he really pays attention to what I say. When I help her with routine and structure, she masters each new responsibility fairly quickly.

Today, make sure your story about your child has a happy ending. If you can't, now's the time to transform yourself into a fairy godmother.

(Is a happy ending too hard to imagine? Then you have some work to do, don't you? I'm betting you already know what that work is. If it feels too hard, just remember that even Fairy Godmothers and Godfathers get stuck sometimes and need to ask for help.)

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