Thursday, February 18, 2010

Adoption: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

As with anything in life, when it comes to adoption, there is the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The good is the obvious: a new baby to love at home, a dream come true.

The bad and the ugly: the process of adopting can be difficult, lengthy and emotionally exhausting.

We are considering open adoption. There is a waiting period of six to eighteen months. During that time, moms might call us and they might or might not be a good match for us.

Let’s say we have a match. We wait for mom to give birth. During those few months, while we wait, I am sure we will be nervous as can be about the possibility that mom might change her mind at the last minute.

Baby is born. We spend a fair bit of time at the hospital. I imagine that will be awkward at first. I can imagine holding the baby and being afraid of bonding with him or her, just in case.

I am sure there are other possible thoughts or situations I am not aware of yet.

On to happier things, I learned today about the adoption tax credit. In other words, we would get part of our money back after adopting. This made my day. It means that adoption would be much more affordable for us than we thought.

Overall, I feel like we are in a good place. We are learning about what might come up, good or bad. I am and will continue to do a lot of research. I have joined an online adoption message board. I am looking forward to meeting people who have adopted. I have an agency I like thus far, but I will continue looking for agencies. I have a list of questions I ask agencies when I call for the first time. I spend time checking out their websites, both the areas for prospective adoptive families and the areas for birth moms. I ask about the agency’s statistics. I plan on asking agencies for references. Am I missing something, anything?!

If you or anyone you know has had any experiences with adoption, feel free to share. I am looking forward to learning more about adoption and whether or not it will be something our family will pursue.


  1. Are you going to induce or maintain lactation? That would be awesome!

  2. Yes, that would be awesome! I would like to maintain lactation, but, if we decide to adopt, the baby might not be here for another two years. I know a bit about inducing lactation, but I am definitely going to research it heavily. Breastfeeding that baby would be beyond awesome! Have you heard any stories about inducing lactation? Isn't it amazing what our bodies can do?! Hormones are good for some things, even if they drive me nuts from time to time!

  3. They managed to induce lactation on "Dollhouse," but I don't know if a recently-canceled Fox sci-fi show is a good judge of probabilities...

  4. Funny thing is I was thinking the same thing!?! Knowing you, I wouldn't be surprised if you breastfed for the long haul! Do it Do it, that would be amazing!

  5. "I don't know if a recently-canceled Fox sci-fi show is a good judge of probabilities..." Literally lol! Researching it right now, in fact! Yaminette, I am seriously considering breastfeeding until we make up our minds or until the baby arrives. If Ari weans herself, I might keep pumping so I don't dry up! Yes, I am crazy and proud of it! I can't explain it; I simply love the idea of giving that gift to one more child.