I was working on a lengthy post about our latest sleep-related transition. But it’s just not happening! Here is the short version!
Last week Abuela came over with homemade curtains for Ari’s window. She talked to Ari about sleeping in her bedroom. Ari seemed interested. I was not the least bit convinced! That being said…
For a week now, Ari has been starting out in her bedroom every night. She has been happy about it. There was not one tear or power struggle.
She created her own new night ritual. Her new night ritual includes some cuddles, two stories and me rubbing her back. Notice: it does not include boobs!
So, my next point! Yes, it is true! Child led weaning really does happen! We are down to only one feeding per day. It is a super quick feeding first thing in the morning. Basically, it is part of our morning cuddle time. I am surprised by this. I was positive that the just before bed feeding would be the last one to go. Furthermore, I anticipated it would take a long time or that it would be really hard on her if I pushed it.
Back to sleep arrangements, Ari spends about five hours in her bedroom before I hear “mama” or “mooooommy”! At that point, I should probably walk her back to her bed and wait until she falls asleep. Instead, we usually snuggle on the twin size mattress and end up cosleeping for the rest of the night.
Her starting out in her bedroom and us finishing the night cosleeping on a twin size mattress in her bedroom feels like the best of both worlds. She can sleep by herself. Us grownups get alone time in our bedroom. I still get to cuddle with my baby girl! There is nothing like falling asleep with her leg on my tummy! Lastly, I can either deal with multiple wakings after three a.m. or I can embrace it and enjoy the time snuggling with her.
Why does she get up in the middle of the night and call for me, you ask? She said that she gets afraid. We explained that she is safe, that mom and dad are always here, that she can call and one of us will always come.
She need not be afraid. However, I cannot control that. What I do have control over is how I react to it and how I help her conquer her fears. As far as I am concerned, meeting the emotional needs of that precious child life blessed me with is my #1 job.
Moral of the story: see, different things work for different people at different times! Go with your gut and do whatever works best for you and your children.
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Monday, November 15, 2010
Off to the beach!
No, we are not going to the beach! But Amor Chiquito really wants to! She woke us up around 5:30 today and the first thing out of her mouth was "I want go to the beach."
Really, kid?! 5:30am? Why? Everyone went back to sleep, except me. It takes me forever to fall asleep, so why bother? If I did manage to fall asleep, I would have to get up in less than an hour.
There is one thing I miss from my pre-parenthood days: sleep. Oh how I miss you, sleep! It's much better now, don't get me wrong. But all week she has been getting up two or three times a night. So this mommy is tired! And I have no idea whatsoever why she is getting up in the middle of the night lately. Maybe it's too warm in the house? Daddy would disagree, but Ari and I like to sleep in a very cold room. Poor man! You should see the way he sleeps!
Back to the beach, the ironic thing is that today is the date to make our final payment for our next vacation, not that Arianna knows that! But, hey, there is no way I will forget now!
Really, kid?! 5:30am? Why? Everyone went back to sleep, except me. It takes me forever to fall asleep, so why bother? If I did manage to fall asleep, I would have to get up in less than an hour.
There is one thing I miss from my pre-parenthood days: sleep. Oh how I miss you, sleep! It's much better now, don't get me wrong. But all week she has been getting up two or three times a night. So this mommy is tired! And I have no idea whatsoever why she is getting up in the middle of the night lately. Maybe it's too warm in the house? Daddy would disagree, but Ari and I like to sleep in a very cold room. Poor man! You should see the way he sleeps!
Back to the beach, the ironic thing is that today is the date to make our final payment for our next vacation, not that Arianna knows that! But, hey, there is no way I will forget now!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
From Bed-Sharing to Co-Sleeping
Warning: this is pretty long!
I strongly believe that different things work for different parents, for different kids, and at different stages of the child’s life. For example, in our case, when Amor Chiquito was an infant, we bed-shared and it worked very well. Sometime during the first year, she slept on her car seat or on the swing for a while. She had reflux.
Around the time Amor Chiquito turned one, bed-sharing was no longer working for us. We transitioned her to her crib. That was hard, very hard. She cried a lot. The first few days, I sincerely believe she was very stressed out about it. She would poo. You might think “so what? She pooped.” She never ever went at that time, only during those first few days. Eventually, she began taking her sleeper and diaper off and throwing them. That was both frustrating and very funny! I never heard of a child completely stripping that early!
Amor Chiquito slept in her crib until about 23 months. At that point, she jumped out! Needless to say, it was time to transition to the toddler bed. That did not go over very well! I would close her door because I was afraid she may fall down the stairs. It is impossible to have a gate at the top of our stairs; we have tried it all. Anyways, she would get upset when she could not get out of her room. After a while, I stopped closing the door. Visiting at 4am began! It was easier for me to let her climb into bed with me than to bring her back. Years of sleep deprivation and a vitamin D deficiency were really catching up with me.
Now, here we are. We have been bed-sharing since February. I feel that there are pros and cons. It is easier for me to lie down next to her, as opposed to waiting until she falls asleep. One of us has always been around until she falls asleep. That is a whole other topic. Some people say an infant can be taught to self-soothe. Others say a child is not developmentally ready to self-soothe until sometime around age 2.5 to 3.
Back to pros and cons, one of the cons is that our 37” tall and 31 lb child takes up more room on our queen size bed than either of us does! I lost my husband. He started sleeping on a twin-size mattress in Amor Chiquito’s room. He got tired of getting kicked and of sleeping on the edge of the bed. To be honest, I was not sleeping comfortably either.
I felt torn, felt that, in a way, I had to choose my child or my husband, you know, the two people that I love most. I strongly believe that it was not healthy for our marriage to have my husband sleeping elsewhere. I will be blunt. It is not about sex. You can always get creative! It is about cuddling and reconnecting as a couple at the end of a long day.
That being said, I also love having Amor Chiquito nearby! I hereby admit it; I am addicted to having that warm leg on my tummy! It is priceless, indescribable!
As far as Amor Chiquito is concerned, here is my thought: if my husband and I like physical contact as we drift off to sleep, why is it wrong for my daughter to want it as well? If we sleep so much better with it, then why is it ok for us to get it and why is it not ok for her to have it? Why do we expect something of her that we do not do ourselves?
Something else to think about… I feel it is important for Amor Chiquito to be able to fall asleep with or without me. In the fall, she will begin attending a Montessori school and I will not be there when nap time comes around. Aside from that, it is simply a skill she should have. I might get sick some day; I might get some consulting work; I might want a break, etc. Most importantly, I know she can do it because she did it in the past.
Another thought… every day is unique. I am never getting today again. I want to enjoy today, to be with my family, to feel my family near me, to get something that I will not get forever: my little girl loving snuggling with me.
Here is my most recent idea: move from bed-sharing to co-sleeping, sharing our room with our child, that is. We put the twin-size mattress in our bedroom and have Amor Chiquito sleep there. She gets to be near me. I get to snuggle with my people. My husband is back on our bed and sleeping comfortably. Amor Chiquito is, on average, only waking me up once a night. Usually, she is not loud about it, so Geeky Entrepreneur can sleep through it.
We have only done this the past three nights, but, so far, so good! I know our current setup might not work in a month, but we will figure that out when we get there.
I strongly believe that different things work for different parents, for different kids, and at different stages of the child’s life. For example, in our case, when Amor Chiquito was an infant, we bed-shared and it worked very well. Sometime during the first year, she slept on her car seat or on the swing for a while. She had reflux.
Around the time Amor Chiquito turned one, bed-sharing was no longer working for us. We transitioned her to her crib. That was hard, very hard. She cried a lot. The first few days, I sincerely believe she was very stressed out about it. She would poo. You might think “so what? She pooped.” She never ever went at that time, only during those first few days. Eventually, she began taking her sleeper and diaper off and throwing them. That was both frustrating and very funny! I never heard of a child completely stripping that early!
Amor Chiquito slept in her crib until about 23 months. At that point, she jumped out! Needless to say, it was time to transition to the toddler bed. That did not go over very well! I would close her door because I was afraid she may fall down the stairs. It is impossible to have a gate at the top of our stairs; we have tried it all. Anyways, she would get upset when she could not get out of her room. After a while, I stopped closing the door. Visiting at 4am began! It was easier for me to let her climb into bed with me than to bring her back. Years of sleep deprivation and a vitamin D deficiency were really catching up with me.
Now, here we are. We have been bed-sharing since February. I feel that there are pros and cons. It is easier for me to lie down next to her, as opposed to waiting until she falls asleep. One of us has always been around until she falls asleep. That is a whole other topic. Some people say an infant can be taught to self-soothe. Others say a child is not developmentally ready to self-soothe until sometime around age 2.5 to 3.
Back to pros and cons, one of the cons is that our 37” tall and 31 lb child takes up more room on our queen size bed than either of us does! I lost my husband. He started sleeping on a twin-size mattress in Amor Chiquito’s room. He got tired of getting kicked and of sleeping on the edge of the bed. To be honest, I was not sleeping comfortably either.
I felt torn, felt that, in a way, I had to choose my child or my husband, you know, the two people that I love most. I strongly believe that it was not healthy for our marriage to have my husband sleeping elsewhere. I will be blunt. It is not about sex. You can always get creative! It is about cuddling and reconnecting as a couple at the end of a long day.
That being said, I also love having Amor Chiquito nearby! I hereby admit it; I am addicted to having that warm leg on my tummy! It is priceless, indescribable!
As far as Amor Chiquito is concerned, here is my thought: if my husband and I like physical contact as we drift off to sleep, why is it wrong for my daughter to want it as well? If we sleep so much better with it, then why is it ok for us to get it and why is it not ok for her to have it? Why do we expect something of her that we do not do ourselves?
Something else to think about… I feel it is important for Amor Chiquito to be able to fall asleep with or without me. In the fall, she will begin attending a Montessori school and I will not be there when nap time comes around. Aside from that, it is simply a skill she should have. I might get sick some day; I might get some consulting work; I might want a break, etc. Most importantly, I know she can do it because she did it in the past.
Another thought… every day is unique. I am never getting today again. I want to enjoy today, to be with my family, to feel my family near me, to get something that I will not get forever: my little girl loving snuggling with me.
Here is my most recent idea: move from bed-sharing to co-sleeping, sharing our room with our child, that is. We put the twin-size mattress in our bedroom and have Amor Chiquito sleep there. She gets to be near me. I get to snuggle with my people. My husband is back on our bed and sleeping comfortably. Amor Chiquito is, on average, only waking me up once a night. Usually, she is not loud about it, so Geeky Entrepreneur can sleep through it.
We have only done this the past three nights, but, so far, so good! I know our current setup might not work in a month, but we will figure that out when we get there.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Sometimes, the solution is in front of you and you just don't see it.
You know how every now and then you realize what is really going on, but it was obvious all along? That’s what happened to me two nights ago.
For the past few weeks, after sleeping for five to seven hours at a time, Amor Chiquito has been waking up many times. I was getting one to two-hour chunks of sleep at a time. To top it off, when she woke me up around 4 or 5:00 a.m., it took me at least an hour to fall back asleep. It has been hard, really hard. I don’t handle sleep deprivation well. I was showing multiple symptoms of depression. It made no sense. I kept thinking “Everything is fine. Everyone is healthy. The bills get paid. My husband is awesome. My kid is happy… What is it? Why do I feel like this?” And, of course, I was wondering “What the hell is going on? What am I doing wrong? What changed? Why are we going through this again? Didn’t we go through this for long enough? We’ve dealt with this almost her entire life. The break was welcomed appreciated, and great while it lasted.”
Each and every night, I kept waking up because I was hot. I figured it was just me. The thermostat was set at 65 degrees. Geeky Entrepreneur was sleeping comfortably, with two blankets up to his shoulders. Amor Chiquito kept kicking the blankets off of her. I didn’t think anything of it. What kid keeps the blankets on her/him, I thought?
Finally, it dunned on me. She might be hot. And, I am way too hot, so I will open the window. She slept great for the rest of the night. That was two nights ago. Last night, I opened the window and she slept straight through until 6:30 a.m. She woke up at 6:30, nursed, and went back to sleep for another two hours.
I feel like a new woman today. I feel like a moron, but a happy one! I know I am very lucky that this is the hardest thing the three of us are dealing with. I did forget that a few times, particularly at 5:00 a.m. when I had only gotten three hours of interrupted sleep, I admit.
Moral of the story: when your child is not sleeping well, think about the simple, common causes: hot, cold, hungry, diaper, teeth. Also, think of things that might not be directly related, but that might affect sleep patterns, such physical activity, what the child ate before bed, if you are a breastfeeding mommy, what you are eating, is the child sick but asymptomatic? Another suggestion: create a list and keep it somewhere easy to find at 3:00 a.m. That way, when the cute little person can’t sleep, you simply go down the list, rather than trying to think.
I am sure there are more things to keep in mind. If you think of something, feel free to add it to my list.
Shh, I didn’t say this, but she napped at a reasonable time today and I am cautiously optimistic that I might be able to get her back on schedule! It’s the little things! Geeky Entrepreneur and I would be happy if she goes down before 10 p.m. I swear we do try!
Duty calls...!
For the past few weeks, after sleeping for five to seven hours at a time, Amor Chiquito has been waking up many times. I was getting one to two-hour chunks of sleep at a time. To top it off, when she woke me up around 4 or 5:00 a.m., it took me at least an hour to fall back asleep. It has been hard, really hard. I don’t handle sleep deprivation well. I was showing multiple symptoms of depression. It made no sense. I kept thinking “Everything is fine. Everyone is healthy. The bills get paid. My husband is awesome. My kid is happy… What is it? Why do I feel like this?” And, of course, I was wondering “What the hell is going on? What am I doing wrong? What changed? Why are we going through this again? Didn’t we go through this for long enough? We’ve dealt with this almost her entire life. The break was welcomed appreciated, and great while it lasted.”
Each and every night, I kept waking up because I was hot. I figured it was just me. The thermostat was set at 65 degrees. Geeky Entrepreneur was sleeping comfortably, with two blankets up to his shoulders. Amor Chiquito kept kicking the blankets off of her. I didn’t think anything of it. What kid keeps the blankets on her/him, I thought?
Finally, it dunned on me. She might be hot. And, I am way too hot, so I will open the window. She slept great for the rest of the night. That was two nights ago. Last night, I opened the window and she slept straight through until 6:30 a.m. She woke up at 6:30, nursed, and went back to sleep for another two hours.
I feel like a new woman today. I feel like a moron, but a happy one! I know I am very lucky that this is the hardest thing the three of us are dealing with. I did forget that a few times, particularly at 5:00 a.m. when I had only gotten three hours of interrupted sleep, I admit.
Moral of the story: when your child is not sleeping well, think about the simple, common causes: hot, cold, hungry, diaper, teeth. Also, think of things that might not be directly related, but that might affect sleep patterns, such physical activity, what the child ate before bed, if you are a breastfeeding mommy, what you are eating, is the child sick but asymptomatic? Another suggestion: create a list and keep it somewhere easy to find at 3:00 a.m. That way, when the cute little person can’t sleep, you simply go down the list, rather than trying to think.
I am sure there are more things to keep in mind. If you think of something, feel free to add it to my list.
Shh, I didn’t say this, but she napped at a reasonable time today and I am cautiously optimistic that I might be able to get her back on schedule! It’s the little things! Geeky Entrepreneur and I would be happy if she goes down before 10 p.m. I swear we do try!
Duty calls...!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Sleep Update
Don’t tell anyone I mentioned this! You did not hear this from me! Amor Chiquito has been sleeping for six to seven hours at a time for the past four nights!
I am ecstatic. I had not slept this well in… I have no idea how long it has been. And, this has not happened too many times since she was born.
What is different? Nothing, absolutely nothing. She is doing it all on her own, out of the blue.
We are co sleeping again. She spends most of her sleep time on our bed. Most of the time, I am loving it. I love feeling her near me. I especially love when she puts her leg on me!
I have her go to sleep on her bed every now and then so that she is used to it. She might need to do it every now and then if I am not around.
I am ecstatic. I had not slept this well in… I have no idea how long it has been. And, this has not happened too many times since she was born.
What is different? Nothing, absolutely nothing. She is doing it all on her own, out of the blue.
We are co sleeping again. She spends most of her sleep time on our bed. Most of the time, I am loving it. I love feeling her near me. I especially love when she puts her leg on me!
I have her go to sleep on her bed every now and then so that she is used to it. She might need to do it every now and then if I am not around.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
A bit of hope for sleep-deprived parents...
Can it be? I am excited, ecstatic!
Ari still wakes up at least three times a night, despite the fact she does not breastfeed until 6:00am. So, when I read this post, I had a huge smile on my face and a bit of hope:
http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2010/01/14/yoga-for-gentle-sleep/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+APISpeaks+%28API+Speaks%29
I will be reading up on the basics of yoga. I am not saying I know that this will work for us, but I am definitely interested in giving it a shot. Everything else we have been told to try we have done, except crying it out. As I said in the past, I simply need to leave for 15 seconds and she gets the point. But, still, she simply has a hard time going to sleep frequently.
Ari still wakes up at least three times a night, despite the fact she does not breastfeed until 6:00am. So, when I read this post, I had a huge smile on my face and a bit of hope:
http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2010/01/14/yoga-for-gentle-sleep/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+APISpeaks+%28API+Speaks%29
I will be reading up on the basics of yoga. I am not saying I know that this will work for us, but I am definitely interested in giving it a shot. Everything else we have been told to try we have done, except crying it out. As I said in the past, I simply need to leave for 15 seconds and she gets the point. But, still, she simply has a hard time going to sleep frequently.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
When in doubt, tweak it.
I learned, or, relearned, rather, this lesson about two months ago.
As I have written many times, sleep has been an on-going issue for us. I have felt like it is hard to find a solution. I don’t want to be the permissive parent who cannot set boundaries, but I am not letting her cry it out either.
One day, after spending quite a while trying to get Amor Chiquito to nap, it clicked!
As a parent, there is no black and white. There is lots of gray. I need to be ok with that.
There are various parenting styles and various plans we could follow to get Ari to sleep the way we wish she slept. I was forcing myself to choose between no crying or crying it out.
What about saying “ut-oh,” leaving her room for 15 seconds, returning, giving her a hug, singing the song, and putting her down?
Why the hell didn’t I think of that sooner? I wish I had because it worked that time, it worked today, and it will probably continue to work in the future.
There is no need to leave her alone for ever in our case. 15 seconds is enough time for her to get the message that there are boundaries.
Today, Ari used all her old tricks and some new ones to avoid napping, despite the fact she was sleepy and yawning. She asked for socks, said her hands were cold, said she needed to go to the potty… She also tried this strange, fake cry! I could not decide if I was angry or if I wanted to laugh! It was clearly completely fake!
I left for 15 seconds. I went back in and gave her hugs. Six minutes later, she was asleep!
Moral of the story: don’t obsess about following x philosophy completely. Tweak it. Get creative. Do what works for your family. In the end, you and your little one’s health and happiness is what matters.
As I have written many times, sleep has been an on-going issue for us. I have felt like it is hard to find a solution. I don’t want to be the permissive parent who cannot set boundaries, but I am not letting her cry it out either.
One day, after spending quite a while trying to get Amor Chiquito to nap, it clicked!
As a parent, there is no black and white. There is lots of gray. I need to be ok with that.
There are various parenting styles and various plans we could follow to get Ari to sleep the way we wish she slept. I was forcing myself to choose between no crying or crying it out.
What about saying “ut-oh,” leaving her room for 15 seconds, returning, giving her a hug, singing the song, and putting her down?
Why the hell didn’t I think of that sooner? I wish I had because it worked that time, it worked today, and it will probably continue to work in the future.
There is no need to leave her alone for ever in our case. 15 seconds is enough time for her to get the message that there are boundaries.
Today, Ari used all her old tricks and some new ones to avoid napping, despite the fact she was sleepy and yawning. She asked for socks, said her hands were cold, said she needed to go to the potty… She also tried this strange, fake cry! I could not decide if I was angry or if I wanted to laugh! It was clearly completely fake!
I left for 15 seconds. I went back in and gave her hugs. Six minutes later, she was asleep!
Moral of the story: don’t obsess about following x philosophy completely. Tweak it. Get creative. Do what works for your family. In the end, you and your little one’s health and happiness is what matters.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Don't you love unsolicited opinions? A rant, be warned!
Today I was chatting with someone and she was asking about Ari. Sleep woes came up.
She said: You have to wean her. She won't sleep well till you wean her.
Oh my God!!! Not again!
My response: *Name*, no offense, but that is bullshit.
I said it to her, I will type it on this blog, and I will say it 100 times if necessary. THAT IS BULLSHIT.
Tell me, why the hell do people insist in telling you that your child will sleep better once you… feed them cereal, feed them solids, wean them, get them out of your bed…? What’s next? Once they are potty trained? Once they go to preschool?
She said that so-and-so's baby is on formula, is on a schedule, never wakes up in the middle of the night because that routine is all he has known. Breastfed babies, on the other hand, get used to eating every two hours, so they wake up in the middle of the night until they are weaned.
Again, I repeat: that is bullshit.
The ironic thing is that one of her kids was breastfed until age one and the other one only until six weeks. Neither one slept "well." So there goes that theory!
I night-weaned Ari and she still wakes up. My friend weaned completely for health reasons at 21 months and five months later, her son still wakes up once. My former professor/advisor's breastfed son was sleeping ten hours straight at seven months. There are plenty of formula babies out there that wake up and want their parents in the middle of the night.
So, in case you did not read it above: that is bullshit.
Children want their parents at 3am because they are used to falling asleep with something of their parents' nearby, whether it is simply the parent's presence, a little walk in the bedroom, a hug, holding the parent's hand... Yes, the boob is what they want in many cases, but that is not it. Otherwise, they would magically put themselves to sleep the minute you night-wean them. As you know, that is not the case. You saw all my posts about our experiences with weaning and sleeping night after night. Ari understood that there was no nursing until daytime, but she wanted to put her hand on my chest. I am now working on holding hands, rather than the hand on my chest.
By the way, you know what, if the fact my child breastfeeds has anything whatsoever to do with her night wakings, I still would do it again, in a heartbeat. Breastfeeding benefits both baby and mother in so many ways. So many stories have proven or found correlations between breastfeeding and positive things... In fact, I will endeavor to find a few and post them on here.
Why the night wakings, you wonder? Children have shorter sleep cycles than we do. If I remember correctly, the length of a young child's sleep cycle ranges from 60 to 90 minutes. So all children wake up in the middle of the night, just like we do. The trick is whether or not the child can put her/himself back to sleep without any assistance from a parent.
I would sleep a lot better if Ari put herself to sleep independently. I would be more rested. That is true. But, you know what? Parenting is a 24/7 job. My job does not end at 5pm. Does this mean that I am happy with the current set up, that I do not want her to be able to put herself back to sleep independently? Of course not. I can't wait, in fact! I am freakin' tired, if you had not heard!
Here is the difference: we are willing to gently transition her because my #1 priority is that my child is securely attached to her parents. For those of you unfamiliar with psychobabble, attachment has to do with the relationship that a child has with her/his parents. Is there a sense of trust? Does the child know that the parents will protect her/him? Does the child know that the parents will always return, that he/she will not be abandoned? A securely attached child knows this. This, in turn, helps the child develop her/his independence. A securely attached child will be a better partner in her/his relationships as a grownup. That child will grow up to be confident, not clingy. Again, there are plenty of studies that prove this. An insecurely attached child, one whose parents did not respond to her/his needs during the early years, either cries inconsolably when a parent leaves or does not give a damn if mom walks away. These are the people who grow up to be non-trusting people or people who cannot have a close, fulfilling relationship due to their own, personal issues.
I know a two-year-old who is an excellent example of ambivalent attachment. He will be around strangers. His mother walks away and he could care less. He is so used to her walking away, to her ignoring his calls for help. Very sad. That is not what I want for my kid. That is why when people told me to let her scream it out at three months, I said no, not now, not ever. At three months, babies do not have object permanence. In other words, if you leave, you do not exist. They do not comprehend that you are simply in another room of the house, that you will return if they really need you.
Let me clarify... I don't mean that Ari never cries. There is always some crying. That is unavoidable. But we are there, visible, in her room, holding her hand if that is what she needs. What we need to work on is to make it so that we can slowly get farther and farther away until she does not need us in the room at all. I am confident that will happen. She will know that she can put herself to sleep but that mom and dad will be there if she is afraid, is not feeling well, is hurt, etc.
Woe, long rant. rant over! I feel better now. Time for bed...
She said: You have to wean her. She won't sleep well till you wean her.
Oh my God!!! Not again!
My response: *Name*, no offense, but that is bullshit.
I said it to her, I will type it on this blog, and I will say it 100 times if necessary. THAT IS BULLSHIT.
Tell me, why the hell do people insist in telling you that your child will sleep better once you… feed them cereal, feed them solids, wean them, get them out of your bed…? What’s next? Once they are potty trained? Once they go to preschool?
She said that so-and-so's baby is on formula, is on a schedule, never wakes up in the middle of the night because that routine is all he has known. Breastfed babies, on the other hand, get used to eating every two hours, so they wake up in the middle of the night until they are weaned.
Again, I repeat: that is bullshit.
The ironic thing is that one of her kids was breastfed until age one and the other one only until six weeks. Neither one slept "well." So there goes that theory!
I night-weaned Ari and she still wakes up. My friend weaned completely for health reasons at 21 months and five months later, her son still wakes up once. My former professor/advisor's breastfed son was sleeping ten hours straight at seven months. There are plenty of formula babies out there that wake up and want their parents in the middle of the night.
So, in case you did not read it above: that is bullshit.
Children want their parents at 3am because they are used to falling asleep with something of their parents' nearby, whether it is simply the parent's presence, a little walk in the bedroom, a hug, holding the parent's hand... Yes, the boob is what they want in many cases, but that is not it. Otherwise, they would magically put themselves to sleep the minute you night-wean them. As you know, that is not the case. You saw all my posts about our experiences with weaning and sleeping night after night. Ari understood that there was no nursing until daytime, but she wanted to put her hand on my chest. I am now working on holding hands, rather than the hand on my chest.
By the way, you know what, if the fact my child breastfeeds has anything whatsoever to do with her night wakings, I still would do it again, in a heartbeat. Breastfeeding benefits both baby and mother in so many ways. So many stories have proven or found correlations between breastfeeding and positive things... In fact, I will endeavor to find a few and post them on here.
Why the night wakings, you wonder? Children have shorter sleep cycles than we do. If I remember correctly, the length of a young child's sleep cycle ranges from 60 to 90 minutes. So all children wake up in the middle of the night, just like we do. The trick is whether or not the child can put her/himself back to sleep without any assistance from a parent.
I would sleep a lot better if Ari put herself to sleep independently. I would be more rested. That is true. But, you know what? Parenting is a 24/7 job. My job does not end at 5pm. Does this mean that I am happy with the current set up, that I do not want her to be able to put herself back to sleep independently? Of course not. I can't wait, in fact! I am freakin' tired, if you had not heard!
Here is the difference: we are willing to gently transition her because my #1 priority is that my child is securely attached to her parents. For those of you unfamiliar with psychobabble, attachment has to do with the relationship that a child has with her/his parents. Is there a sense of trust? Does the child know that the parents will protect her/him? Does the child know that the parents will always return, that he/she will not be abandoned? A securely attached child knows this. This, in turn, helps the child develop her/his independence. A securely attached child will be a better partner in her/his relationships as a grownup. That child will grow up to be confident, not clingy. Again, there are plenty of studies that prove this. An insecurely attached child, one whose parents did not respond to her/his needs during the early years, either cries inconsolably when a parent leaves or does not give a damn if mom walks away. These are the people who grow up to be non-trusting people or people who cannot have a close, fulfilling relationship due to their own, personal issues.
I know a two-year-old who is an excellent example of ambivalent attachment. He will be around strangers. His mother walks away and he could care less. He is so used to her walking away, to her ignoring his calls for help. Very sad. That is not what I want for my kid. That is why when people told me to let her scream it out at three months, I said no, not now, not ever. At three months, babies do not have object permanence. In other words, if you leave, you do not exist. They do not comprehend that you are simply in another room of the house, that you will return if they really need you.
Let me clarify... I don't mean that Ari never cries. There is always some crying. That is unavoidable. But we are there, visible, in her room, holding her hand if that is what she needs. What we need to work on is to make it so that we can slowly get farther and farther away until she does not need us in the room at all. I am confident that will happen. She will know that she can put herself to sleep but that mom and dad will be there if she is afraid, is not feeling well, is hurt, etc.
Woe, long rant. rant over! I feel better now. Time for bed...
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Toddler bed, already?
Crap, I really was not prepared for this one. I envisioned her in her crib until age 2.5 or so. But she just successfully climbed out. This is not safe. I guess we will be turning her crib into a toddler bed much sooner than anticipated. In the meantime, the rocking chair was moved as far away from the crib as possible so that if she falls she does not hit her head. I am paranoid about this because climbing out of a crib is what gave my sister one of the scars on her head.
Geeky Entrepreneur just went with her on a car ride. Nothing else is working. I cannot remember when the last time he did this was. Crappy night, what can I say...
I should go to sleep, but how can I go to sleep knowing that she is crying in the car right now because she only wants me tonight?
No idea if it is the sugar, the molars, or something else...
Geeky Entrepreneur just went with her on a car ride. Nothing else is working. I cannot remember when the last time he did this was. Crappy night, what can I say...
I should go to sleep, but how can I go to sleep knowing that she is crying in the car right now because she only wants me tonight?
No idea if it is the sugar, the molars, or something else...
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Today I am parenting a sweet, happy, funny horse!
Amor Chiquito slept mostly ok last night.
She went down for her nap very easily and napped for 2 hours.
Amor Chiquito ate like a horse today! I cannot believe the amount of food that is in that child’s tummy right now!
She was very pleasant most of the time. No sleep deprivation-induced cranckiness.
Lastly, Ari did very well during the early intervention visit. The therapist thinks Amor Chiquito is probably at 21 months as far as language. She is 22 months. So, if Amor Chiquito was evaluated today, she would not qualify for early intervention. How she went from scoring 14 to 21 months in two months is beyond me, but I will not complain!
Thank you God for a great day! These are the days when I think I want another baby!
She went down for her nap very easily and napped for 2 hours.
Amor Chiquito ate like a horse today! I cannot believe the amount of food that is in that child’s tummy right now!
She was very pleasant most of the time. No sleep deprivation-induced cranckiness.
Lastly, Ari did very well during the early intervention visit. The therapist thinks Amor Chiquito is probably at 21 months as far as language. She is 22 months. So, if Amor Chiquito was evaluated today, she would not qualify for early intervention. How she went from scoring 14 to 21 months in two months is beyond me, but I will not complain!
Thank you God for a great day! These are the days when I think I want another baby!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
More of the same, more or less...
Last night was a lot better than Sunday night. Amor Chiquito got up 3 times. The second time it took us about 45 minutes to get her back to sleep. That was still a lot better than Sunday night because she gave us 2 3.5 hour chunks and there were no crying incidents.
The other good thing is that Amor Chiquito slept until 7am, whereas, the past few weeks, she had been waking up around 5:30 and the only way to get her to sleep was to let her nibble herself to sleep on our bed. It seemed, to me, that there was a pattern: if it was dark, she would go back down in her crib; if there was light, she was either up or in bed with us. Abuela installed the shade I bought months ago and so far so good. Seems like it worked like a charm. Let's see what happens tonight. I am cautiously hopeful!
As for her nap and eating, that is a whole other story. It is 3pm and she has not had lunch or napped. I have offered rice, beans, milk, and other things I know she likes right now. Amor Chiquito won't eat. She won't even sit down. Amor Chiquito just takes off and wonders around the kitchen. She is often completely ignoring me. Freakin' terrible two's! I guess I can't reread Love and Logic soon enough!
I really wish I knew why she will eat like a horse some times and other times she just does not care for food, no matter who does what. I also wish I knew why she will often eat great with my mother but not with me. Come on, kid, my food is not that bad!
As for the nap, every time I say it is time to nurse and sleep, she begins naming foods she wants. Of course, when I offer, she won't eat them. The other thing she is doing is running in our bedroom and climbing in our bed. Lastly, when I talk about naptime, she starts to cry. If she manages to get away, she starts playing like nothing ever happened. I guess that is, by definition, being impish.
What next? I don't know. I don't know what else to try. Maybe I'll end up nursing her to sleep on her bedroom floor again. I don't want to send mixed signals, but I don't know what else to do. I am not willing to leave her bedroom and let her scream herself to sleep. I am desperate, but not that desperate.
If you have any suggestions, comment away!
The other good thing is that Amor Chiquito slept until 7am, whereas, the past few weeks, she had been waking up around 5:30 and the only way to get her to sleep was to let her nibble herself to sleep on our bed. It seemed, to me, that there was a pattern: if it was dark, she would go back down in her crib; if there was light, she was either up or in bed with us. Abuela installed the shade I bought months ago and so far so good. Seems like it worked like a charm. Let's see what happens tonight. I am cautiously hopeful!
As for her nap and eating, that is a whole other story. It is 3pm and she has not had lunch or napped. I have offered rice, beans, milk, and other things I know she likes right now. Amor Chiquito won't eat. She won't even sit down. Amor Chiquito just takes off and wonders around the kitchen. She is often completely ignoring me. Freakin' terrible two's! I guess I can't reread Love and Logic soon enough!
I really wish I knew why she will eat like a horse some times and other times she just does not care for food, no matter who does what. I also wish I knew why she will often eat great with my mother but not with me. Come on, kid, my food is not that bad!
As for the nap, every time I say it is time to nurse and sleep, she begins naming foods she wants. Of course, when I offer, she won't eat them. The other thing she is doing is running in our bedroom and climbing in our bed. Lastly, when I talk about naptime, she starts to cry. If she manages to get away, she starts playing like nothing ever happened. I guess that is, by definition, being impish.
What next? I don't know. I don't know what else to try. Maybe I'll end up nursing her to sleep on her bedroom floor again. I don't want to send mixed signals, but I don't know what else to do. I am not willing to leave her bedroom and let her scream herself to sleep. I am desperate, but not that desperate.
If you have any suggestions, comment away!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Confessions of a tired mommy...
Today has been a crappy day, to say the least. Actually, it started weeks ago, but today was the worst.
Amor Chiquito used to go to bed around 8:30 and would sleep until 7-7:30. She was napping at noon or so for about 1.5 hours. Lately, Amor Chiquito has been going to sleep at 9:30 and gets up around 6:30 or so. She was waking up twice and lately we have had nights when she has woken up five times. What is worse is the nights, like last night, when it takes hours to get her to go back to sleep. Lastly, Amor Chiquito has been eating poorly, for the most part, the last few days.
Yesterday, Amor Chiquito did not go down for a nap until 3:40. She napped until 6:10, so I knew she would not be going to bed early. Sure enough, Amor Chiquito was up until 10:30.
At 2:00 is when things got interesting. She woke up. I nursed her and put her back in the crib. Less than an hour later, she was awake again. Both Geeky Entrepreneur and I took turns trying to help her go back to sleep. Eventually, I decided I would try co-sleeping. Sadly, it really does not work for us, but last night I was desperate and was willing to try almost anything.
Co-sleeping was not working. We had been awake for hours. She kept wanting to nibble or wanting to hold a nipple. Picture your nipple getting squeezed for a long time. It is not pleasant. If I knew that after 10 minutes of it, we could all go to sleep, it would make it worthwhile, but that was not the case.
So, anyways, I tried the crib again. No success. Lots of that heart-breaking cry, lots of mommy, mommy. When I picked her up, she ran to our bedroom and climbed into our bed. I decided to try co-sleeping again because, what the hell, nothing was working. This was the option where she would be the least miserable. Hours later we were asleep.
Long story short: I got 4.5 hours of sleep. Geeky Entrepreneur probably got 5 or so. Ari got 6.5 hours of sleep. She needs at least 10 hours.
Fast-forward to naptime… Same thing… Amor Chiquito was very tired, but she would not go down in her crib. She wanted to co-sleep, but I just couldn’t do it. My nipples were quite sore after last night. Eventually, I nursed her to sleep on her bedroom floor. Yes, her bedroom floor; that was the best I could do. I am not proud of it, but, she finally napped. I got somewhere.
Of course, I am asking myself the usual questions: what the hell is going on? Is she not feeling well? What is it? What can I do to help her feel better? God knows I’d do anything! Is it the molars? Something else?
I know that this is nothing, really, that many kids and their parents out there have it a lot harder. But, right now, today, after 4.5 hours of sleep and a long, hard day, I am feeling so frustrated, so tired, so useless, so helpless, so anxious… There have been multiple times today when I have wanted to hide somewhere and cry. I know something is up with my kid and I can’t figure it out. I am her mother. It is my job to protect her and to take care of her. And, yet, I can’t even freakin’ get her to sleep! I feel like I am failing somehow.
I am a very private person. I don’t go around telling people about my issues. For example, I really struggle with anxiety and only a handful of people know about it (I think four and one of them is my husband). So why am I writing about this on a public blog? I want other parents to know that they are not alone, that all of us parents often have hard days and that it is ok to get frustrated, to want to cry, to reach out for help. This happens. It happens often, even if we do not talk about it.
In addition to what I wrote above, I wish someone had told me what parenting really is like before I got pregnant. Please do not misinterpret my words; I love my daughter to pieces and I would not change having her in my life at all. What I mean is that people always tell you “Wait… It is hard… Blab la bla…” But they don’t really tell you anything. No one tells you that there are times when you feel helpless because you can’t make your baby feel better. No one tells you that when your baby is a newborn, you need to nurse every 2-3 hours, at least, and that you will be sore as hell for weeks. No one tells you that even at 22 months you will be having rough, sleepless nights.
So, moral of the story: for me, being a mother is wonderful, intense, rewarding, hard, life-changing, overwhelming, humbling, among many other things. If you are thinking you would like to become a parent or are thinking of adding to your family, educate yourself. Don’t just talk to your mother and mother-in-law! Go on parenting message boards, for example.
Yikes, I realize this post is all over the place and for that I apologize. Normally, I would go back and edit, but I am too tired for that today! I need to take a shower and go to bed. Who knows what is in store for tonight. Fortunately, so far so good. She went to sleep at 8:45.
Oh, one more thing, whatever you do, if you want to have kids, make sure a 21-century dad fathers them! I don’t know how our mothers did it! I will admit that if I didn’t have a wonderful man at my side like I do, there would be no doubt: I’d go get my tubes tied! Geeky Entrepreneur is great, though, so I might want to try for #2 someday, despite the fact I’m still not sleeping well!
Done rambling for now. Thanks for hearing, well, reading me out!
Amor Chiquito used to go to bed around 8:30 and would sleep until 7-7:30. She was napping at noon or so for about 1.5 hours. Lately, Amor Chiquito has been going to sleep at 9:30 and gets up around 6:30 or so. She was waking up twice and lately we have had nights when she has woken up five times. What is worse is the nights, like last night, when it takes hours to get her to go back to sleep. Lastly, Amor Chiquito has been eating poorly, for the most part, the last few days.
Yesterday, Amor Chiquito did not go down for a nap until 3:40. She napped until 6:10, so I knew she would not be going to bed early. Sure enough, Amor Chiquito was up until 10:30.
At 2:00 is when things got interesting. She woke up. I nursed her and put her back in the crib. Less than an hour later, she was awake again. Both Geeky Entrepreneur and I took turns trying to help her go back to sleep. Eventually, I decided I would try co-sleeping. Sadly, it really does not work for us, but last night I was desperate and was willing to try almost anything.
Co-sleeping was not working. We had been awake for hours. She kept wanting to nibble or wanting to hold a nipple. Picture your nipple getting squeezed for a long time. It is not pleasant. If I knew that after 10 minutes of it, we could all go to sleep, it would make it worthwhile, but that was not the case.
So, anyways, I tried the crib again. No success. Lots of that heart-breaking cry, lots of mommy, mommy. When I picked her up, she ran to our bedroom and climbed into our bed. I decided to try co-sleeping again because, what the hell, nothing was working. This was the option where she would be the least miserable. Hours later we were asleep.
Long story short: I got 4.5 hours of sleep. Geeky Entrepreneur probably got 5 or so. Ari got 6.5 hours of sleep. She needs at least 10 hours.
Fast-forward to naptime… Same thing… Amor Chiquito was very tired, but she would not go down in her crib. She wanted to co-sleep, but I just couldn’t do it. My nipples were quite sore after last night. Eventually, I nursed her to sleep on her bedroom floor. Yes, her bedroom floor; that was the best I could do. I am not proud of it, but, she finally napped. I got somewhere.
Of course, I am asking myself the usual questions: what the hell is going on? Is she not feeling well? What is it? What can I do to help her feel better? God knows I’d do anything! Is it the molars? Something else?
I know that this is nothing, really, that many kids and their parents out there have it a lot harder. But, right now, today, after 4.5 hours of sleep and a long, hard day, I am feeling so frustrated, so tired, so useless, so helpless, so anxious… There have been multiple times today when I have wanted to hide somewhere and cry. I know something is up with my kid and I can’t figure it out. I am her mother. It is my job to protect her and to take care of her. And, yet, I can’t even freakin’ get her to sleep! I feel like I am failing somehow.
I am a very private person. I don’t go around telling people about my issues. For example, I really struggle with anxiety and only a handful of people know about it (I think four and one of them is my husband). So why am I writing about this on a public blog? I want other parents to know that they are not alone, that all of us parents often have hard days and that it is ok to get frustrated, to want to cry, to reach out for help. This happens. It happens often, even if we do not talk about it.
In addition to what I wrote above, I wish someone had told me what parenting really is like before I got pregnant. Please do not misinterpret my words; I love my daughter to pieces and I would not change having her in my life at all. What I mean is that people always tell you “Wait… It is hard… Blab la bla…” But they don’t really tell you anything. No one tells you that there are times when you feel helpless because you can’t make your baby feel better. No one tells you that when your baby is a newborn, you need to nurse every 2-3 hours, at least, and that you will be sore as hell for weeks. No one tells you that even at 22 months you will be having rough, sleepless nights.
So, moral of the story: for me, being a mother is wonderful, intense, rewarding, hard, life-changing, overwhelming, humbling, among many other things. If you are thinking you would like to become a parent or are thinking of adding to your family, educate yourself. Don’t just talk to your mother and mother-in-law! Go on parenting message boards, for example.
Yikes, I realize this post is all over the place and for that I apologize. Normally, I would go back and edit, but I am too tired for that today! I need to take a shower and go to bed. Who knows what is in store for tonight. Fortunately, so far so good. She went to sleep at 8:45.
Oh, one more thing, whatever you do, if you want to have kids, make sure a 21-century dad fathers them! I don’t know how our mothers did it! I will admit that if I didn’t have a wonderful man at my side like I do, there would be no doubt: I’d go get my tubes tied! Geeky Entrepreneur is great, though, so I might want to try for #2 someday, despite the fact I’m still not sleeping well!
Done rambling for now. Thanks for hearing, well, reading me out!
Saturday, May 2, 2009
The Adventures of Amor Chiquito: 5/2/2009
Here is the weekly update.
Favorite word this week: nyo (no)
Old words that she had not said in a while: daddy, thank you, and nana (banana).
New words: bubbos (bubbles)
Amor Chiquito loves bringing my purse around with her. A few days back, I went out with my mom and she stayed home with Daddy. When I opened the cell phone pocket, I found one of her Easter window stickers!
Amor Chiquito is not very fund of being in her car seat lately. One time, she threw quite the fit! She was screaming pretty loudly. Abuela tried to distract her by singing a song, a song that Amor Chiquito typically likes to dance to. But, not that time! Instead, what Abuela got was "nyo" from a very angry child! Abuela and I thought the way she said no was histerical! We could not stop laughing! Eventually, Amor Chiquito decided she was no longer angry. So, the new thing was first I dance, then I say no! Too funny! I wish I had a video of that!
The blueberry obsession continues! I am very happy that my daughter is enjoying healthy food, but we have spent over $30 in blueberries this week! No, I am not exagerating! She is going through a small case each day! I got tired of going to Stop & Shop every other day, so we bought in bulk last time!
I made the mistake of not pumping or having Daddy offer her a bottle for a month or so when she was two months old. Consequently, Amor Chiquito decided she did not want the bottle. The next time she accepted a bottle she was nine months or so. At that point, she was pretty good with the sippy cup, so I figured why bother with a bottle if I'd have to wean her from it at age one anyways?
Well, guess what? There are bottles at Abuela's house because my nephew still drinks out of them. Guess who opens the refrigerator, grabs the bottle, and points at the milk? Yes, my kid! And, guess who drank eight ounces of milk from a bottle today at Abuela's? Yes, you're right, my kid again!
My response? What the heck! Do I have to go buy my 19.5 month old child a bottle when she should not have been using one for the past seven months? I am not saying that the day a child turns one the bottle should go away completely. But I do know that at that time the weaning process should begin. And, furthermore, I know that this does not make sense! The kid will be two soon! She knows how to drink from a sippy, from a straw, from a grown-up's cup... So, what then?
Abuela's logic is "if I give her the bottle, she'll drink milk. If she drinks milk, I keep her here longer!"
Who can argue with that?! It's not like The Geeky Entrepreneur and I do not enjoy the break every now and then.
So, to wrap up the bottle story, I have decided that if she wants to drink from a bottle at Abuela's once a week, so be it. But I am not buying bottles for her to drink milk at home. If she wants to keep refusing to drink it from a sippy and prefers to spoonfeed herself milk, so be it, but I'm not buying bottles! Well, I might buy one for her to keep at Abuela's, I suppose!
As far as sleep, all I'll say is it was great while it lasted! She has been getting up at least twice during the last few nights. One night she got up five times. No idea what is going on yet. Maybe the tooth that is about to come through, maybe not. I don't know.
Lastly, the early intervention agency the pediatrician referred us to is evaluating Amor Chiquito on Tuesday morning. I am looking forward to the report, but I am not very hopeful that they will say anything new in regards to the sleep situation.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
The Adventures of Amor Chiquito
Amor Chiquito has been quite impish this week! I am enjoying watching her figure out so many new things. I am loving everything about this stage, except the tantrums! Yes, tantrums are here, and, I know they are here to stay! Welcome, terrible two's!
New words: no and mano (Spanish for hand).
You ask her something, anything, it's always "no"! You ask someone else something, she answers for the person, "no"!
I got her a picnic table yesterday. Today, she had a snack on our porch at her new table, spent some time walking around the house, ran back and forth from the swing to our car, trying to put the key in so she could unlock the door, and spent a fair bit of time on the swing, of course!
Amor Chiquito is enjoying the slide Abuela got her. She was confused at first, but quickly learned how to get on it. She wants to go down the slide butt first every now and then!
She is enjoying her swing a great deal. It's her favorite thing to do, for the time being.
Speaking of the swing, last Tuesday she threw her first tantrum because she wanted to go outside and go on the swing. I said no because it was cold and rainy. She either did not understand that or did not care. The Geeky Entrepreneur figured he'd try to turn it into a learning experience. He thought if she sat on the wet swing, she'd get it. Well, guess what? That didn't work! She didn't give a crap! I'm guessing she is too little to understand that. She enjoyed being on the swing and proceeded to throw yet another tantrum when The Geeky Entrepreneur brought her in the house. To be honest, even though we had read "Love and Logic," a book on discipline, how to raise respectful and responsible kids, etc., I was not prepared for this! I guess it's time to do some thinking and decide how we will be handling tantrums! Suggestions are welcomed! It makes sense that tantrums have begun. The terrible two's are approaching.
So, back to the tantrum! I explained why we had to come in, tried distracting her, giving her space to figure it out, ignoring her, you name it… I got kicked. I got slapped. Even the boobies got hit, despite the fact that she can't live without them! Eventually, she decided she wanted mama milk. Then, the tantrum was over, she took a bath, and life was great again. My sweet baby was back!
Since then, we have had a handful of smaller tantrums, all because of the swing, because of keys, or because she does not want us to change her diaper.
Amor Chiquito and her 2-year-old cousin got to spend some time together last weekend. I noticed that neither of them was interesting in sharing anything. At one point, my nephew was about to sit where Amor Chiquito had been sitting. She got mad and made sure he wouldn't eat her food or have any of her water. Sounds terrible, I know! I know it's a kid thing, but I felt like there must be something I can do to teach her about sharing. A few days later, I got the weekly child development newsletter from Baystate Medical Center, where I gave birth. Apparently, children do not really understand sharing until they are three or so. That made me feel better. But, that means the next year will be very interesting for Amor Chiquito and her cousin! Well, they won't care; it will be interesting for those of us watching!
On to cute stuff! Amor Chiquito gives us lots of unsolicited hugs! Often, she'll start running towards you with her arms wide open! She just learned to blow kisses, so we get kisses too!
She continues to get better at spoon feeding herself. In fact, she won't let anyone feed her these days! I am waiting for the day when she will say, "I can do it myself"!
Amor Chiquito just learned to put her shoes on! She had been trying, but they were often backwards, as in she tried to put her toes in the heel part. One day, I noticed she had both shoes on, no socks on. I didn't do it and Daddy was working.
For a while, she was enjoying dressing herself, especially if it was new clothes that she got to remove stickers off of. Now, sometimes, she just does not want to get dressed! Today, suddenly, I realized she was in her diaper, shirt and pants were gone! Then, five minutes later, the diaper was gone too! Maybe she wanted to take a bath?!
Oh, how could I forget…? Quick sleep update: most nights, she has slept 6-8 hours uninterrupted. So, we end up getting up only once in the middle of the night. We are still dealing with her having a hard time going back to sleep on some nights. Overall, I am very pleased with the progress she has made during the last week or so.
I think that is it for this week.
I have not forgotten about cloth diapers. I will post more about that when I get through the end of the semester insanity.
New words: no and mano (Spanish for hand).
You ask her something, anything, it's always "no"! You ask someone else something, she answers for the person, "no"!
I got her a picnic table yesterday. Today, she had a snack on our porch at her new table, spent some time walking around the house, ran back and forth from the swing to our car, trying to put the key in so she could unlock the door, and spent a fair bit of time on the swing, of course!
Amor Chiquito is enjoying the slide Abuela got her. She was confused at first, but quickly learned how to get on it. She wants to go down the slide butt first every now and then!
She is enjoying her swing a great deal. It's her favorite thing to do, for the time being.
Speaking of the swing, last Tuesday she threw her first tantrum because she wanted to go outside and go on the swing. I said no because it was cold and rainy. She either did not understand that or did not care. The Geeky Entrepreneur figured he'd try to turn it into a learning experience. He thought if she sat on the wet swing, she'd get it. Well, guess what? That didn't work! She didn't give a crap! I'm guessing she is too little to understand that. She enjoyed being on the swing and proceeded to throw yet another tantrum when The Geeky Entrepreneur brought her in the house. To be honest, even though we had read "Love and Logic," a book on discipline, how to raise respectful and responsible kids, etc., I was not prepared for this! I guess it's time to do some thinking and decide how we will be handling tantrums! Suggestions are welcomed! It makes sense that tantrums have begun. The terrible two's are approaching.
So, back to the tantrum! I explained why we had to come in, tried distracting her, giving her space to figure it out, ignoring her, you name it… I got kicked. I got slapped. Even the boobies got hit, despite the fact that she can't live without them! Eventually, she decided she wanted mama milk. Then, the tantrum was over, she took a bath, and life was great again. My sweet baby was back!
Since then, we have had a handful of smaller tantrums, all because of the swing, because of keys, or because she does not want us to change her diaper.
Amor Chiquito and her 2-year-old cousin got to spend some time together last weekend. I noticed that neither of them was interesting in sharing anything. At one point, my nephew was about to sit where Amor Chiquito had been sitting. She got mad and made sure he wouldn't eat her food or have any of her water. Sounds terrible, I know! I know it's a kid thing, but I felt like there must be something I can do to teach her about sharing. A few days later, I got the weekly child development newsletter from Baystate Medical Center, where I gave birth. Apparently, children do not really understand sharing until they are three or so. That made me feel better. But, that means the next year will be very interesting for Amor Chiquito and her cousin! Well, they won't care; it will be interesting for those of us watching!
On to cute stuff! Amor Chiquito gives us lots of unsolicited hugs! Often, she'll start running towards you with her arms wide open! She just learned to blow kisses, so we get kisses too!
She continues to get better at spoon feeding herself. In fact, she won't let anyone feed her these days! I am waiting for the day when she will say, "I can do it myself"!
Amor Chiquito just learned to put her shoes on! She had been trying, but they were often backwards, as in she tried to put her toes in the heel part. One day, I noticed she had both shoes on, no socks on. I didn't do it and Daddy was working.
For a while, she was enjoying dressing herself, especially if it was new clothes that she got to remove stickers off of. Now, sometimes, she just does not want to get dressed! Today, suddenly, I realized she was in her diaper, shirt and pants were gone! Then, five minutes later, the diaper was gone too! Maybe she wanted to take a bath?!
Oh, how could I forget…? Quick sleep update: most nights, she has slept 6-8 hours uninterrupted. So, we end up getting up only once in the middle of the night. We are still dealing with her having a hard time going back to sleep on some nights. Overall, I am very pleased with the progress she has made during the last week or so.
I think that is it for this week.
I have not forgotten about cloth diapers. I will post more about that when I get through the end of the semester insanity.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
7 hours of uninterrupted sleep = PROGRESS
She got up once. The Geeky Entrepreneur walked her for a minute. She went right down. Did not ask for mama milk. She stayed in bed for over 7 hours after that.
So, no mama milk all night and over 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep, that is what I call serious progress! She is doing that more and more often lately! Yay! Let's keep it up, Amor Chiquito! Mommy is so proud of you! You need to sleep good so Mommy can convince Daddy that you having a sibling in about 2 years is a good idea! Oops, I didn't say that!
It's great that she is doing so much better because the three of us are fighting colds, so we could use the rest.
So, no mama milk all night and over 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep, that is what I call serious progress! She is doing that more and more often lately! Yay! Let's keep it up, Amor Chiquito! Mommy is so proud of you! You need to sleep good so Mommy can convince Daddy that you having a sibling in about 2 years is a good idea! Oops, I didn't say that!
It's great that she is doing so much better because the three of us are fighting colds, so we could use the rest.
Monday, April 20, 2009
She was cold...
Quick update to last night's saga… She was cold. She went to sleep relatively easily once she was wearing her sweater. What can I say…? I feel like an idiot. I should have known better.
I am noticing a pattern. Most of the times when she is having a hard time going back to sleep, it has something to do with temperature. So we'll need to keep that in mind.
Funny (now) story… Here is an account of our conversation once she went to sleep at 3am or so.
Daddy: She's asleep.
Me: She was cold. I feel like an a-hole.
Daddy: (in a very sleepy voice) Yeah, same here, the hell with f'ing cry it out.
Why is it funny? Because he never ever swears! It was music to my ears because I hate cry it out!
He mentioned cry it out because the last few times she was up for hours in the middle of the night, he suggested cry it out because nothing else worked. Turns out one time she was too hot and the other time she was cold. So, moral of the story, when she cries and cries, it's for a reason, never just for the hell of it.
Speaking of cry it out, I respect that it works for many people, but I know that it is not the right thing for our kid or for us. I have realized and accepted that, no matter what, there will be some crying while you are sleep training. But, after having her in our bed for 13 months, I did not feel comfortable with suddenly putting her in a room she had never slept in, in a strange, new bed, and leaving her alone in there to scream until she dropped from exhaustion.
What we did and still do is we are in the room with her, saying "sleepy time" and such phrases if she does not lie down. Otherwise, we wait quietly, usually spend some time on the computer, while she goes to sleep. Time-consuming, I know, but it's what works for us.
Sleep training has been a very hard road for us, but, I am happy to say that she no longer dreads going in the crib. She now knows that her crib is the place where she sleeps and where she can play a bit before going to sleep, if she would like. So, yes, I complain when we have a hard night, but we have come a long way. Hearing her laugh and talking to Momo, rather than screaming her head off when I put her in the crib makes my day!
Hoping for a better night tonight!
I am noticing a pattern. Most of the times when she is having a hard time going back to sleep, it has something to do with temperature. So we'll need to keep that in mind.
Funny (now) story… Here is an account of our conversation once she went to sleep at 3am or so.
Daddy: She's asleep.
Me: She was cold. I feel like an a-hole.
Daddy: (in a very sleepy voice) Yeah, same here, the hell with f'ing cry it out.
Why is it funny? Because he never ever swears! It was music to my ears because I hate cry it out!
He mentioned cry it out because the last few times she was up for hours in the middle of the night, he suggested cry it out because nothing else worked. Turns out one time she was too hot and the other time she was cold. So, moral of the story, when she cries and cries, it's for a reason, never just for the hell of it.
Speaking of cry it out, I respect that it works for many people, but I know that it is not the right thing for our kid or for us. I have realized and accepted that, no matter what, there will be some crying while you are sleep training. But, after having her in our bed for 13 months, I did not feel comfortable with suddenly putting her in a room she had never slept in, in a strange, new bed, and leaving her alone in there to scream until she dropped from exhaustion.
What we did and still do is we are in the room with her, saying "sleepy time" and such phrases if she does not lie down. Otherwise, we wait quietly, usually spend some time on the computer, while she goes to sleep. Time-consuming, I know, but it's what works for us.
Sleep training has been a very hard road for us, but, I am happy to say that she no longer dreads going in the crib. She now knows that her crib is the place where she sleeps and where she can play a bit before going to sleep, if she would like. So, yes, I complain when we have a hard night, but we have come a long way. Hearing her laugh and talking to Momo, rather than screaming her head off when I put her in the crib makes my day!
Hoping for a better night tonight!
It was great while it lasted...
Saturday night was just a teaser. Yesterday, Sunday, she did not nap. In the evening, she was falling asleep while nursing, but, once in the crib, she would not fall asleep. She played for quite some time. She fell asleep the second time around without much trouble.
Since then, she has woken up 3 times, every hour or so. It's 2:30am and we've been up for about 2 hours trying to figure out what is going on. We have done the usual: offer breast milk, sing, walk, rub her back… She just cries and cries… Diaper is ok. She did not seem hot or cold. Nothing different, other than the fact that she seems to be coming down with the same nasty cold I have.
We have been taking turns. I was at a loss, so I asked Daddy to cosleep tonight. I'd do it, but I'm sneezing every 5 minutes. Did not want to risk waking her up. She was falling asleep with her arm around me. When Daddy came in, I said "sleepy time with Daddy." She got very upset and started crying. She would not stop crying no matter what he did, said, what song he sang…
So, scratch that idea… She did not seem cold to me, but I figured I'd put a sweater on her, basically, just to try something. Daddy took her, sang the song, walked her around, and put her in the crib. He is still in there, but she is not crying. Good sign. I'm hoping that she is either asleep or that she will be soon and that we get at least 4 hours.
Oh, we gave her the decongestant tonight. It makes her sleepy. Guess what? Whether it makes her sleepy or not is irrelevant. So, moral of the story, don't ever think that giving your baby something that will make her/him sleepy will assure a good night sleep.
I hope you're sleeping better than us tonight!
Since then, she has woken up 3 times, every hour or so. It's 2:30am and we've been up for about 2 hours trying to figure out what is going on. We have done the usual: offer breast milk, sing, walk, rub her back… She just cries and cries… Diaper is ok. She did not seem hot or cold. Nothing different, other than the fact that she seems to be coming down with the same nasty cold I have.
We have been taking turns. I was at a loss, so I asked Daddy to cosleep tonight. I'd do it, but I'm sneezing every 5 minutes. Did not want to risk waking her up. She was falling asleep with her arm around me. When Daddy came in, I said "sleepy time with Daddy." She got very upset and started crying. She would not stop crying no matter what he did, said, what song he sang…
So, scratch that idea… She did not seem cold to me, but I figured I'd put a sweater on her, basically, just to try something. Daddy took her, sang the song, walked her around, and put her in the crib. He is still in there, but she is not crying. Good sign. I'm hoping that she is either asleep or that she will be soon and that we get at least 4 hours.
Oh, we gave her the decongestant tonight. It makes her sleepy. Guess what? Whether it makes her sleepy or not is irrelevant. So, moral of the story, don't ever think that giving your baby something that will make her/him sleepy will assure a good night sleep.
I hope you're sleeping better than us tonight!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
She slept through the night!
The Geeky Entrepreneur put her in bed at 8pm. She was asleep before 8:30. We didn't hear from her until 6am. Actually, I heard her on the monitor once, around 3AM, I think, but she put herself back to sleep. I can't believe it! We are ecstatic!
We are, of course, wondering what we must do for a repeat performance! The two things that have changed are that she has a pillow and that she is sleeping in onsies and pants rather than very warm sleepers.
I will admit that I was paranoid when I woke up at 2:30 and realized that she had not woken up and it had been 6 hours. My poor husband, I woke him up and asked him to check on her! He admits to having been a bit upset at me at first, but that, once he was awake enough to do the math, he was paranoid, too, so he ran in her room and checked on her! Pathetic, I know. We should just enjoy it. But when you recently heard of a "crib death," it is hard not to get paranoid.
Oh, just in case you were wondering, we did not give her anything to help her sleep! I refuse to do that, no matter how many people tell me to give her benadryl.
We are, of course, wondering what we must do for a repeat performance! The two things that have changed are that she has a pillow and that she is sleeping in onsies and pants rather than very warm sleepers.
I will admit that I was paranoid when I woke up at 2:30 and realized that she had not woken up and it had been 6 hours. My poor husband, I woke him up and asked him to check on her! He admits to having been a bit upset at me at first, but that, once he was awake enough to do the math, he was paranoid, too, so he ran in her room and checked on her! Pathetic, I know. We should just enjoy it. But when you recently heard of a "crib death," it is hard not to get paranoid.
Oh, just in case you were wondering, we did not give her anything to help her sleep! I refuse to do that, no matter how many people tell me to give her benadryl.
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